Page 27
Story: Penance
Her parents exchange a glance. They think they know her. But they don’t know shit about her. They don’t fucking know her, and they never have. They don’t see the fear that flickers in her eyes when she thinks no one is looking. They can’t see how filthy her soul is.
But I see it.
I look past her to the sharp steeple, stark white and reaching to the heavy grey sky overhead. This building is so familiar, but so different from what I remembered, now that I have uncovered my eyes. I can feel the weight of regret pressing down on me, dragging me down, my own proverbial cross to bear.
I was past this, wasn’t I?
Now that I knew the truth about the world, and the darkness that lived in it.
So why did I still feel so damn bad?
Why was I still so fucking scared when I saw this place?
I can still smell the incense, the mold clinging to the sides of the confessional, splashed so much with holy water over the years that it was beginning to rot from the inside out.
Just like all the other liars who filed into that limestone building today.
Not a single one of them was free of sin, I just had the balls to be honest about it.
I remembered it, still.
I remembered it all.
The buzz of Sunday sermons, like a shaken hornet’s nest. I could feel the hard wooden pews that made my back ache, and the splinters that dug into my palm if I touched beneath the seat. I could still feel the endless recitations of scripture—all of it designed to keep people in line, to keep them small and manageable. I see it all for what it is now.
A lie.
It’s all a lie to keep them complacent—to keep us caged.
Not me.
Not anymore.
I shake away the memories of pain, of blood smeared across my palm, and my eyes dart over to the parking lot, searching for her.
It only takes a moment, and I see her.
She’s walking with her parents now, her arm linked through her mother’s. Her laugh is bright, musical, the closest thing to real magic that I’ve ever seen, but I see the way it catches in her throat.
She’s pretending, playing a role like an actress.
She’slying.
And I can see the weight of it, and the way it presses down on her. She’s a coiled spring, ready to snap.
She’s going to collapse, and when she does, I will be there. I will be the one to pick up her pieces.
As they ascend up the carved limestone steps to enter the church, Mercy pauses, her gaze sweeping over the parking lot as if sensing a presence.
Can she feel me, the way I feel her?
Is her soul reaching for me like mine reaches for hers?
I hold my breath, melting further into the shadows. For a moment, our eyes almost meet, but she turns away, her smile fading just a fraction. I let out my breath in a low, steady exhale.
This is just the beginning, Mercy.
Soon, the shadows will consume you, and you will be as black as I am on the inside.
But I see it.
I look past her to the sharp steeple, stark white and reaching to the heavy grey sky overhead. This building is so familiar, but so different from what I remembered, now that I have uncovered my eyes. I can feel the weight of regret pressing down on me, dragging me down, my own proverbial cross to bear.
I was past this, wasn’t I?
Now that I knew the truth about the world, and the darkness that lived in it.
So why did I still feel so damn bad?
Why was I still so fucking scared when I saw this place?
I can still smell the incense, the mold clinging to the sides of the confessional, splashed so much with holy water over the years that it was beginning to rot from the inside out.
Just like all the other liars who filed into that limestone building today.
Not a single one of them was free of sin, I just had the balls to be honest about it.
I remembered it, still.
I remembered it all.
The buzz of Sunday sermons, like a shaken hornet’s nest. I could feel the hard wooden pews that made my back ache, and the splinters that dug into my palm if I touched beneath the seat. I could still feel the endless recitations of scripture—all of it designed to keep people in line, to keep them small and manageable. I see it all for what it is now.
A lie.
It’s all a lie to keep them complacent—to keep us caged.
Not me.
Not anymore.
I shake away the memories of pain, of blood smeared across my palm, and my eyes dart over to the parking lot, searching for her.
It only takes a moment, and I see her.
She’s walking with her parents now, her arm linked through her mother’s. Her laugh is bright, musical, the closest thing to real magic that I’ve ever seen, but I see the way it catches in her throat.
She’s pretending, playing a role like an actress.
She’slying.
And I can see the weight of it, and the way it presses down on her. She’s a coiled spring, ready to snap.
She’s going to collapse, and when she does, I will be there. I will be the one to pick up her pieces.
As they ascend up the carved limestone steps to enter the church, Mercy pauses, her gaze sweeping over the parking lot as if sensing a presence.
Can she feel me, the way I feel her?
Is her soul reaching for me like mine reaches for hers?
I hold my breath, melting further into the shadows. For a moment, our eyes almost meet, but she turns away, her smile fading just a fraction. I let out my breath in a low, steady exhale.
This is just the beginning, Mercy.
Soon, the shadows will consume you, and you will be as black as I am on the inside.
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 105
- Page 106
- Page 107
- Page 108
- Page 109
- Page 110
- Page 111
- Page 112
- Page 113
- Page 114
- Page 115
- Page 116
- Page 117
- Page 118
- Page 119
- Page 120
- Page 121
- Page 122
- Page 123
- Page 124
- Page 125
- Page 126
- Page 127
- Page 128
- Page 129
- Page 130
- Page 131
- Page 132
- Page 133
- Page 134
- Page 135
- Page 136
- Page 137
- Page 138
- Page 139
- Page 140
- Page 141
- Page 142
- Page 143
- Page 144
- Page 145
- Page 146
- Page 147
- Page 148
- Page 149
- Page 150
- Page 151
- Page 152
- Page 153
- Page 154
- Page 155
- Page 156
- Page 157
- Page 158
- Page 159
- Page 160
- Page 161
- Page 162
- Page 163
- Page 164
- Page 165
- Page 166
- Page 167
- Page 168