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“So it’s not that the homophobia is bad or even prevalent. It’s just that even the smallest hint of it could cause a problem,” Chas said.
“Exactly.”
“How are the guys in your… platoon, is it?”
“They’re fine. Not that they knew I might swing the other way. But they wouldn’t care—make that wouldn’t have cared. Past tense.”
“You’re done being a SEAL? As in done, done?”
“Yup. Paperwork’s already signed,” he answered hoarsely.
“I’m sorry,” Chas said quietly.
“What are you sorry for?” Gunner exclaimed.
“I didn’t realize it was a fait accompli. That sucks.”
He’d avoided thinking about it for most of the past week. Poppy and Chas had provided plenty of distraction, not to mention the carload of assholes trying to chase them down and kill them. But now, on the road, with days of travel ahead of them and nothing to do but think, he couldn’t avoid the stark truth any longer. He was done as a SEAL.
“If the senior leadership had given me a chance to recuperate from my injuries, I might’ve been able to stay. But without that support, I couldn’t have fought the doctors on my own.”
“You mean SEALs don’t know when to quit and have to be forcibly retired by medical experts? Color me shocked,” Chas commented.
Gunner rolled his eyes.
“Are you gonna take the job Spencer’s offering you?” Chas asked.
“I’m thinking about it.”
“Will it be dangerous work?”
“Sometimes.”
“More or less dangerous than being a SEAL?”
“Some of each. Most security jobs are less dangerous. But if they go bad, we would have less backup than a SEAL team would have.”
Chas fell silent at that. Silent enough that Gunner glanced over at him and asked, “What’s on your mind? You went quiet on me, and you’re the most talkative person I know.”
Chas made a face that made Gunner grin.
“I believe the phrase you’re looking for is ‘fuck off.’”
Chas smiled. “Fuck off, G.”
Gunner was aware that Chas hadn’t answered his question. The guy was definitely fretting about something, but he didn’t want to talk about it. On the teams, they didn’t usually sit around airing out their feelings. And if a guy didn’t want to talk, nobody forced him to, as long as he was able to do his job effectively.
They drove for nearly an hour in silence before Chas asked, “How long until the bad guys pick up our trail and we’re bait on a hook?”
“We figure they’ll show up not long after we use your credit card. We’ve got maybe a day of relative quiet.”
“Do wehaveto confront these guys?”
“We need to find out who they are and what they want with Poppy. If she’s ever going to be safe, we have to at least know who hired them.”
Chas sighed. “I’m secure enough in my manhood to admit that I’m a little scared.”
“Being scared is rational. I’d be worried if you weren’t scared. The trick is not to let fear get the best of you. Let it make you sharp. A little edgy. But don’t let it overwhelm you.”