Page 49

We lay out towels on the end of the beach, as far from the congregation of naked people as possible. And my parents get over the naked thing pretty fast, running out into the sea with the Lees, splashing and diving and giggling like teenagers. But the four of us stay planted on the sand. Etta starts talking Alex’s ear off about the Terrace of the Lions in Delos, where she wanted to go today, so I turn to Wally, who’s lying flat with an arm covering his eyes.

“Thank you again. For not saying anything, I mean. We weren’t doing anything. But you know that Dad wouldn’t see it that way.”

He uncovers his eyes, and I see that the deep bags are still there and his eyes are pink.

“I didn’t do it as a favor. None of us need the drama right now.”

“Okay,” I say, swallowing down the pang of hurt his tone causes. “Listen, Wally, I know you don’t want to talk about it, but I just... I’m worried about you. You’re not acting like yourself since we got here, and you’re not sleeping—”

“Just save it,” he says, standing up and putting his sunglasses on. He pulls out his phone. “I’m not doing this. I—I’ll be back later. I’m gonna see if I can find some food.” He turns and makes his way up the sand, not looking back.

“Whoa,” Alex says behind me. I turn, and his eyebrows are raised. He was listening to the whole thing. “Whoa” is also what my brain is shouting. A whole Sunday choir is in there, stomping and hollering out “Whoa!!!!!” with hands raised to the sky. Not because of what a dick Wally was to me, though. No, because sometime during that conversation, Alex took off his shirt.

And he looks good.

Real good.

More good than he has any business looking. I mean, he’s a nerd. Where did he get toned arms and a flat stomach like that—lifting beakers or some shit? It’s not right!

“I’m sorry he talked to you like that,” he says, his face full of concern. Right. I’m just supposed to have a normal conversation with him like this. Okay.

“I don’t know what’s going on with him,” I say, looking down at my hands so I can focus. “He’s not usually like this. He... he broke up with his long-term boyfriend, but I think he’s keeping it a secret. My mom and dad don’t seem to know. And he’s been up all night, every night, since we’ve been here, and just so... so goddamn moody. I wish he would talk to me. We used to be so close, and I want to help him.”

God, I’m rambling. I look up to see if Alex is losing interest, but he’s nodding and his eyes are totally locked on me, like he’s listening intently. I’m still getting used to someone doing that.

“Maybe he’s stressed about the fall,” Alex says. “Law school is no joke. But it’s not cool that he’s taking it out on you.” He reaches in his bag and pulls out sunscreen, and oh man, nope. Can’t handle that. My eyes shoot back to the ground.

“Yeah, I get that,” I continue, taking deep, steadyingI will not ogle Alexbreaths. “I’m stressed about all the changes coming, too, though. It’s something we could bond over, maybe. If he would just talk to me.” But I guess it isn’t the same. He’s worried about his very much focused and planned life. I’m a mess because I have no plan at all, and Wally’s made it clear what he thinks of that. I squeeze my eyes shut and shake those thoughts away. “Plus, Kieran—that’s his boyfriend. Well, ex now, I guess. He was going to move back to SoCal and everything, so they could live together during Wally’s three years. What happened to make Wally throw all that away?”

I make the mistake of looking up at Alex again, and he’s still listening, perfectly attentive, but now he’s apparently rubbedhis chest and arms with sunscreen? And his golden-brown skin is glowing??? I feel like Abu in the Cave of Wonders. My arm is twitching to reach out and touch even though I know, firmly, that I SHOULD NOT DO THAT. AT ALL.

“Um. Yeah. Okay.” My brain is short-circuiting. Anxiety and hurt about Wally, this weird thing stirring in the bottom of my stomach for Alex. These are too many feelings to be feeling all at once.

“Obviously, I’m no expert at this. Only child here,” Alex continues, like the way he looks right now is all totally normal. NO BIG DEAL. “But maybe just give him time? Let him come to you? The bond that you guys have didn’t just disappear, you know? He’s probably taking time to process this, that’s all.”

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.” I sigh and rub my face, resetting. “It just sucks that he can’t like process it with me or whatever.” I take a couple more deep breaths. “Anyway, I’m done with that emo moment.”

“You don’t have to be. If you don’t want to be.” He nudges my arm, and my whole body tenses. Those goddamn butterflies are back. A flock of them! A swarm!

“Do you want to go swimming?” he asks. “Take your mind off it?”

Oh, you mean take off this lace muumuu thing and frolic with you in the waves in what is basically our underwear? Yes, I very much do. But also NO. No, I very much don’t.

“No, I’m good,” I say, looking off down the beach. Of course, then I make direct eye contact with a white-hairedcouple letting it all hang out. Thank you, universe.

“Ooooooohh,” Alex says, sounding way too excited. “I know what you want.”

I hear him rustling in his backpack, but I’m scared to look up. Those words have sent my mind down all kinds of porno-y roads. But, no, Etta is still here. And there are our parents in the water, doing their best impersonation of Lindsay Lohan dancing in that one video. Get it together, Lenore!

“What’s that?” I ask tentatively, and he answers by throwing bags of chips into my lap.

“Greek snacks! Look what I found! The chips in the green bag are oregano flavored and the blue bag is tzatziki.” His eyes light up when he talks about his snacks, and it’s so cute I want to scream. “And look at this chocolate bar! It’s all bubbly and weird, like... alien eggs or something. But the cashier said it was the most popular, so I think we gotta risk it.”

“You’re really selling me here, man,” I laugh. I put my hands out. “Gimme some of that alien chocolate.”

The next day is another sea day, and Alex and I decide to skip poolside Family Feud with the rest of the crew and meet up at the business center for the Wi-Fi. His parents have bought him one of the expensive-ass unlimited passes that my parents refused to even consider because apparently that’s what happens when you’re an only child.

“Aren’t you a little overdressed?” Alex says with a smirk,gesturing at my outfit as I enter the room. I’m wearing a scarlet-red dress with hot-pink embroidery and bell sleeves.