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He smiled around the rim of his beer. “In this life, you will have trouble?”
“I’m all fortaking heart, but some peace would be good.”
“Peace in the storm?”
“No, no storms. I want at least a week of quiet and feeling like this.”
“Mmm. I could take a few days off. We could get lost somewhere no one will find us.” His tone sounded wistful, almost dreamy.
“That sounds like an invitation I want to accept.”
She hadn’t been so self-absorbed as to not realize he was carrying different kinds of burdens. Having to work. Knowing she didn’t feel good. Worrying, as she was, that it could be something serious or that she was pregnant with a baby he’d raise as his own but would always know wasn’t his.
“Even if you wind up pregnant?”
Kenna sighed. “Anytime is a good time to be pregnant.”
“Is that really true?”
Maybe not, but that wasn’t her point. “While married. When it’s you and me. I can say that honestly now, because I’ve lived the story where things got out of order. But what I mean is, anytime is a terrible time as well.”
“I don’t follow.” He shook his head, taking another bite of steak.
“There are always reasons it might be inconvenient or heartbreaking or the wrong time. But the trade-off is something beautiful. A life that connects us. A child we made that we can raise together.”
“Lord willing.”
She nodded. “People take it for granted, I think. It seems like an everyday occurrence, and for some people, it just happens easily. Others have to fight for years to get pregnant. The road is long and hard and painful or even heartbreaking.”
“And you’ve seen both sides of it.”
“I have.” She looked at the wide expanse of sky behind the house. “I’ve done the wrong thing and had the best results, or so I thought. I’ve been as low as a person can get, and now I’m happier than I have any right to be. But with a cloud over my head. I’d rather just enjoy it.”
“Life doesn’t come with no worries.”
She knew what he meant. “Really? Let’s sell everything we have and move to Aruba. Live in a hut on the beach. Then you can tell me you still have worries.”
He chuckled, finishing his meal.
Kenna snagged a couple more potatoes and stood. She went over to Jax’s chair and slid one knee beside his hip on the cushion. She leaned the other knee on the other side and didn’t quite put her weight on his lap. She didn’t want to squish him with her recent weight gain—the additional mass she’d accumulated while remaining the same size.
Didn’t make any sense to her, but it was what it was.
He set his hands on her hips and pulled her fully onto his lap.Guess he doesn’t agree.She settled there with his arms around her. Hers resting on his shoulders with her fingers linked behind his head. “Now I remember all the things we need to talk about.”
He shook his head. “No talking.”
She chuckled. “Sorry, it doesn’t work that way.”
Before she was even finished saying that, he’d tugged her close against his chest and kissed her. Kenna pushed everything out of her conscious awareness except for the feel of her husband and the moment they were sharing right now. All of it went on hold while she reveled in the feel of his lips against hers.
She rested her forehead against his and touched his cheeks. “You’d make a great father.”
“Anytime. You just say when.”
Kenna kissed him again, enjoying that he wanted to raise a family with her.Anytime.She could get on board with that. On one hand, why should they put their lives on hold just because of a dangerous enemy? But on the other hand, having a child would make them so much more vulnerable. These people were deadly serious, would stop at nothing, and might snatch any child they had. Kenna might be too weak to stop them.
If only she could be strong enough to protect her family, no matter what happened.