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Eighteen

Tessa

PRESENT DAY

Val rummaged around behind the bar. She grabbed four wooden mugs and plopped them onto the counter before producing a cask of ale painted with dust. All four mugs were overflowing with amber liquid in seconds, but we were the only two who reached for one. “Best hiding place you could have thought of.”

“This was the closest building without windows. I didn’t mean it as an excuse to get drunk.”

“Look, everything has gone tits up. Mist is everywhere. Albyria is burning down. Who the fuck knows what’s happened to our king? I hope he’s dead. Still, it’s going to cause a civil war of epic proportions while they all fight over the throne. And there are monsters out there that want to eat us alive. We don’t have any weapons, and even if we did, we wouldn’t know how to use them. If that’s not an excuse to get drunk, then I don’t know what is.” As if to punctuate her little speech, she lifted her mug in a toast. Foam spilled over the sides, and then she downed the whole thing at once.

She poured herself another without letting a beat pass.

I hopped up on the nearest stool and stared into my drink. Nellie was in the back corner where Milly and her family hunkered down. Mother sat with them, but she wasn’t engaging. She rubbed her leg and stared numbly at the wall, as if the reality of our situation had truly sunk in. The barrier had broken. If Oberon was gone, then everything we’d always depended on was gone too. No more enhanced healing. No protection from death.

And the Mist King, of course. I knew she feared him still, no matter what I said.

“We’ll find a way out of this,” I said.

Val gave me a frank look. “How?”

“I don’t know. As long as everyone stays inside, the shadowfiends might get bored and go to the city. The fae can deal with them then.”

“And then what? We just stay inside for the rest of our lives? The fae might be able to kill the few shadowfiends that are out there now, but more will come. You know they will.”

I took a sip of the bitter ale. “Once everything calms down, we can get everyone out of Teine. There are places in this world without mist. You can go there.”

Val’s brow arched, and she paused with her drink halfway to her lips. “Don’t you meanwe? We can go there.”

“Right. We can go there.”

She finished the second ale and then poured another. I took careful sips of mine, knowing that Val was one of the few people in the world who was capable of reading between my lines. Kalen was another, but I tried not to think about him too much. I hated not knowing how he was. If my nerves weren’t completely fried, I’d try to dream of him, but I knew I’d never get to sleep right now.

“Is this about him?” Val asked. “You got a funny look on your face before. You’ve got it now, too.”

“There’s just something I need to do.”

She folded her arms and leaned against the back of the bar, waiting for me to elaborate. I didn’t want to explain. I didn’t even really understand it myself. But Val was a more patient person than I was, and my defenses crumbled beneath the weight of her gaze after long moments stretched by in brutal silence.

I sighed. “I did something terrible to him. I made a mistake, and I need to apologize.”

“Are you sure you made a mistake?”

“Yes.”

She nodded, more easily satisfied than I would have expected. “You still have that dream bond thing with him?”

“As long as I’m not being force-fed valerian.”And as long as he’s alive.

“So apologize to him that way.”

My elbows dug into the hard wood of the bar as I dropped my head into my hands. “I already did. I have to do it in person, Val. The dreams aren’t real, even if they feel that way sometimes. I need to speak the words out loud. He needs to hear them.”

I expected another counter, another argument. Instead, she refilled my mug. I hadn’t realized I’d drank the whole thing already. But the sharp daggers of my anxiety had softened from the swirl of alcohol through my veins, just enough to take the edge off. I sighed and took another sip. “Thanks, Val. Are you…have you been all right?”

“I’m fine.” She dropped her voice to a whisper. “Your mother has been…well, this whole thing has been hard on her. She’s been out of her mind with worry. For you. For Nellie. They wouldn’t let us see her, you know.”

I closed my eyes. “I’m sorry. That whole thing was my fault.”