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“Yes. Seeing you with him at the hospital got to me in a way I didn’t expect. It made me wonder why the hell I was wasting time and not telling you how I really feel.”

I put down my crab and wiped my mouth. “Well, this is good timing, because I’ve been needing some guidance when it comes to me and you.”

He came right out with it. “I don’t want to just date you anymore, Molly. I want to be exclusive.”

Oh. Wow. “Where is this coming from all of a sudden?”

“It’s not that sudden. I’ve had feelings for you for quite some time, long before we started seeing each other. I’ve realized my fears about commitment were entirely about me not having found the right person. The more time I spend with you, the more I’m certain I don’t want to share you.”

After taking a long sip of water, I said, “I have to admit, I’m surprised this is what you want so soon.”

“I get that. I told you early on that I didn’t want anything serious—”

“Right. I guess I’m still not quite sure about your change of heart.”

He nodded. “There’s nothing like the threat of losing someone to push your heart in the right direction. If it’s not this Declan guy, it will be someone else. I know a good thing when I see it. You deserve to be cherished. I want to be that man. I don’t want you to have any hesitation about being with me because you think I’m interested in dating other people. I’m not. I’m only interested in you.” He paused. “Will you be with me exclusively?”

Needing a moment, I looked up at the gorgeous lanterns hanging above us. This was something I’d been waiting for, yet I wanted time to process before committing to him.

“This is a lot to take in. I really like you, Will. I think we have a lot in common, and I’m very attracted to you. I’m just a little surprised.”

“I understand.”

“I know this is probably not the answer you were hoping for, but can I have a little time to mull it over?”

“Of course. I’ve had several days to think about it, so it’s only fair that you should have the same.”

CHAPTER 18

* * *

Declan

I loved messing with my sister when I called her at the convent. “How’s the sex, drugs, and rock and roll?”

“Oh you know, the usual…”

“When I get home, the first thing I’m gonna do is come see you,” I said.

“As long as you don’t try to taint Sister Mary Jane like you did last time.”

“Come on. That was fun, and you know it.”

She sighed. “What’s going on? Something’s up. You don’t normally call me in the middle of the day.”

“You know me so well, Sister-Sister.”

“Talk to me.”

Sitting on the couch, I kicked my legs up. “Okay. I told you about the girl I’m living with last time we spoke, right?”

“Yeah. Molly, is it? You guys still getting along?”

Where do I begin? I spent the next several minutes telling Catherine about my complicated relationship with Molly and the games we’d played with Will and Julia. I wrapped up the story with the half-drunk conversation we’d had a week ago.

“So you were honest with each other about your feelings,” she said. “Why is that a bad thing?”

“Well, I didn’t tell you about the week she was away.”

“Okay…”

“Long story short, she went to stay at her dad’s for a week after he got out of the hospital. While she was gone I…had a hard time.”

“You mean you missed her?”

“No, I mean… I sort of had a new episode.”

“Oh no, Declan. What happened?”

“Nothing. I just spent a couple of days in bed. I had to call out of work and stuff. But eventually I called Dr. Spellman.”

“Okay, good. Did that help?”

“He adjusted my meds, and I think it did.”

“Alright, well, that’s good. I’m sorry it happened, but I’m glad you recognized it and dealt with it. It sounds like you handled things well. How did Molly take coming home and seeing you like that?”

“She didn’t… Well, not really, anyway. I did my best to pull myself together. I’d been starting to feel a little better by then, anyway, and I knew she needed to talk to me about her dad, who’s really sick. But she could definitely tell something was off, because she kept asking me what was wrong.”

“Are you afraid to tell her, Declan?”

“It wasn’t the right time to get into it. I ended up drinking a little, and it didn’t mix well with my medications, which lowered my inhibitions, and that’s when we had the conversation about sex.”

“Oh my.” She laughed. “Well, you shouldn’t be drinking alcohol. You know that.”

I sighed. “The thing is, Cat, I know turning a blind eye to these feelings for Molly is the right thing to do. The distance thing—me living in California and her being here in Chicago—is definitely an issue, but I made it seem like distance was the main reason we couldn’t be together. Deep down, I know that’s not it. It’s more the fact that I haven’t told her anything about the messed-up stuff that sometimes goes on in my head.”