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I should leave. There was no one here, and no one needed me. I could go back home and finish reading my book, though, at this point, sleep was more appealing. The only thing the book would do was make me think about Jude.

Heavy footsteps sounded on the stairs outside, and a large frame filled the still-open door. I hadn’t noticed it was ajar, letting in cold air. It was Jude. I would know his frame anywhere, even in silhouette. I didn’t know if I’d ever forget the shape of him. Ever.

He stepped into the glow of the firelight, and my heart jumped in my chest. It thundered. The expression on his face was the one I’d always seen when he thought I wasn’t looking. It was wild, filled with barely contained hunger. And even now, no way could I be convinced it meant nothing.

He moved, crossing the space to where I sat and pulled me to standing. I always forgot how fast he could move. My hands landed on his chest to keep my balance, and he didn’t pull away.

He didn’t pull away.

Jude’s hands were on me, running down my arms, and he was still looking at me like that. Like he could consume me alive, and I would be happy to let him.

“Are you all right?”

His voice was rough. “I am now.”

“Jude—” His hand came up, slipping behind my neck, and my traitorous stomach flipped with hope. “What are you doing?”

Jude was so, so much taller than I was, and he was leaning down. “You can tell me to stop,” he said quietly.

“Stop what?”

He said the words again, bringing our faces even closer. “You can tell me to stop.”

No part of me wanted him to stop. I didn’t want to move on from him, no matter the face I was putting on. I wanted him to look at me exactly like this, and I wanted everything else. “I don’t want you to stop.”

Jude lowered his head and kissed me.

Chapter 9

Jude

This was a dream come true. That was the only thing I could think as I pulled her more firmly against me and kissed her. Lena melted—melted—in my arms, and I felt an overwhelming sense of relief from her. And from me.

After what I saw tonight, there was no going back. No way for me to reconcile the fact that I’d waited so long to do this. So much wasted time.

Before we’d gone into the house, we’d had eyes and ears on it. I saw Noah with a gun to his head, and I heard him tell Kate to close her eyes so she wouldn’t have to watch him die. But I also saw the love on his face and the knowledge that, if things had gone differently, at least they’d had even their short time together.

I put myself in his position.

If something happened to me and I never had a chance to hold the woman in my arms right now—never had the chance to love her and to give her that time—it would be worse than anything else. My stubbornness had hurt us both. I already knew that.

I slipped my hand from the back of her neck up into her hair, angling her head so I could kiss her more deeply. She tasted like the sweetness of tea and the bitterness of whiskey. Sugar and something more.

Feeling her against my body was everything I’d dreamed of, and it felt like a miracle. I dropped my free hand down her spine to cradle her waist, and she gasped into my mouth, twining her arms up and around my neck.

Right now, I didn’t care about the need to command her pleasure and the instinct to tell her to lie down and open for me. I just needed to feel her.

Breaking away for breath, I looked down at her. Lena’s eyes were wide, pupils dilated, chest heaving for the air we both needed now. It was an effort not to kiss her again or, better yet, take her on this very couch.

“I owe you both an apology and an explanation,” I said. “But more than that, I need to take you home. I don’t plan on leaving this time.”

Her tiny gasp sent chills down my spine. The flicker of doubt I saw stabbed me in the heart because I was the one who put it there. If there was one thing I would do in this life, it would be to make sure Lena Mitchell never doubted her own worth again.

“Will you let me take you home?”

“Yes,” she breathed. “Yes, please.”

I didn’t bother letting her go, instead lifting her off the floor and letting her wrap her legs around my waist.