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Running my hands down her ribs, I allowed myself to feel her the way I’d thought about. I hooked my fingers into her belt loops on either side the way she’d done to me, thumbs brushing up and feeling skin.

Evelyn gasped and pulled away from the kiss.

Fuck.

Too far, too fast.

“I’m sorry,” I said, dropping my hands away from her body and placing them on the wall. “I’m sorry.”

She looked at me, lips swollen from our kiss and eyes still glassy with it. Determination entered her gaze, and she pulled me back down to her, kissing me again, harder this time.

I didn’t deserve this woman who’d been fighting demons for years and did it even while she kissed me. When I’d told her that she was one of the bravest people I’d ever met, I hadn’t been lying.

Evelyn moaned, which broke any control I had over my body. I wanted her. More than wanted. There was an ache in my chest that only she was the answer to.

My phone rang in my pocket, and I let out a curse. Evelyn laughed against my lips. “Ignore it.”

I checked the screen and cursed again. “I can’t. It’s the police chief. I left him a message to get back to me so I could tell him about what happened.”

Her eyes went dark. “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry,” I said again. “Not exactly what I wanted to mention while kissing you.”

“To make up for it, you could keep kissing me.” She bit her lip, and I think I lost all the blood in my body as it ran south.

One more press of my lips against hers, and I pulled myself away. “I swear to you, Evelyn, there’s more where that came from, any time you want it.”

She blushed at my words, and I memorized the color on her skin, hoping I would see it again.

Walking away from her was the hardest thing I’d done in a long time.

Chapter 17

Evelyn

It was nearly a day later, and I was still thinking about the kiss.

After I’d brought Aspen and his things back to the Bitterroot House, I’d taken a nap. Aspen had joined me, and it was the best thing I’d ever experienced. I slept so much easier with him there, and I hadn’t noticed I’d needed that. Who knew you could be tense while sleeping? But there was a knot between my shoulders that had loosened.

Nathan was still a threat, a very real black cloud on the horizon, but for the first time I had people who had my back. And it felt like a fucking miracle.

But that kiss—my whole body still tingled. It was the absolute best kiss of my life. Aspen hadn’t minded the interruption, just sticking to my side as soon as Lucas stepped away to take the call.

I hadn’t seen him again yesterday. Not really. Five minutes in the evening to tell me that he had filled in the police chief and that the chief had agreed to keep it quiet. Lucas apologized about walking away from the kiss and kissed me again before he had to leave for a weekly meeting. Even that little kiss had left me buzzing again.

It was fine, because yesterday was one of the best days I’d had in a long time. And today was giving it a run for its money. I’d slept in later than I had in recent memory with Aspen curled against my side. Then I’d taken a long and luxurious shower before heading out into the afternoon for a walk with him.

The weather was mild and perfect, with a breeze carrying that scent that I couldn’t get enough of. Aspen didn’t need a leash. He stuck to my side like glue. If he left to investigate something, he was back within a minute. The smile on my face never seemed to slip away.

I sat by the lake and watched the clouds for a long while before going back and playing with the other dogs again. It was wonderful to just exist. To do what I wanted and not be consumed by the things that kept me hanging on to the cliff by my fingernails.

Lucas texted me in the afternoon. He’d left to pick up a horse on another ranch a couple of hours away, but he was back now. I was hoping to see him again tonight, because I wasn’t done with the way he’d kissed me. I could tell that he was still holding himself back, and I didn’t want that anymore.

I wanted all of Lucas. He’d shown me that I could live again, and now I was done with merely surviving. Maybe I’d head over to the lodge and see if he was busy later. Nerves bubbled in my gut at the thought. It felt vulnerable to be that forward, but it was a step I needed to take.

Aspen trotted alongside me as I walked up the lane to the Bitterroot House, panting happily. Something snagged the corner of my eye, and I nearly missed a step up onto the porch. A black rose petal lay on the faded wood. Taking a breath, I willed my heart to stop the pounding that had started. I was just startled. I was fine. A petal had gotten stuck to my clothes when I’d come home from Deja Brew and I hadn’t noticed.

But it was the door that made me truly freeze. It was open a fraction, and I’d closed and locked it behind me. I know that I had, because I did it every time I left, no matter how short a time.