Page 44

I had a flash of memory. Something I hadn’t thought about in years. At my stable there had been a horse like this one. Never seemed to want to be with people, but he’d liked me. I’d helped the trainers at the stable tame him. He’d ended up being one of my favorite horses to ride.

“Lucas,” I said. “Can I come in?”

He met my eyes, assessing. I felt him weigh the risks before he nodded. “Just let us actually catch him first, all right?”

“Okay.”

It took a few minutes for them to get close enough, but they did. As soon as they took the reins I climbed up and over the fence, dropping down. The movement startled Penny, and he reared. They lost their grip on the reins, and Penny charged straight at me.

Adrenaline spiked through my veins and Lucas shouted, but I didn’t move. This didn’t scare me—I had real monsters in my life.

Penny slowed at the last second, and I caught his reins. That movement startled him again, but this time it startled him still. He huffed out a heavy breath but didn’t seem interested in running anymore.

“Hi, Penny,” I said softly. “You’re okay.”

He tossed his head, and I took a step closer.

“I know you’re scared, but these are good people. You can let them touch you.” Another step closer, and another. He pranced a little, but he didn’t pull away like he had with Lucas or Harlan. I kept my voice low and steady. “You don’t have to be scared.”

I was close enough to touch him now, and I dared to do it. My heart pounded in my ears, my body reacting to the potential danger even if I felt calm. But Penny stayed still while I touched his nose and petted him slowly. “There you go.”

He made a low noise and lowered his head for more.

“Well fuck,” Lucas said with a laugh. He looked over at Harlan. “Looks like I forgot to try one thing.”

Lucas edged closer and immediately Penny’s entire stance changed. He was ready to charge away, to run so that Lucas couldn’t touch him.

“Will you lead him over to Rayne and Mara?” he asked, backing off.

“Sure.”

He followed me without hesitation over to the fence where the two women were. The perfect horse. Rayne smiled and reached over the fence to pet him. “Looks like he has some potential after all. What do you think is the problem?” she called to Lucas.

“I think he’s afraid of men. Makes sense, given how he was rescued. But this is something that I can work with.” Lucas approached again, but this time he stood directly behind me. It seemed to do the trick, because Penny didn’t bolt.

Lucas placed a hand on my lower back, and the casual touch was distracting. But I didn’t want him to pull away. “If I stand behind you,” he said softly, “can we do a couple of circles?”

I nodded, pulling on the reins and getting Penny back to the center. Lucas stuck close with me, and I understood why. If Lucas could get Penny to associate him with me, he might trust Lucas more. His hands stayed on me as I spun, leading Penny in easy circles around the paddock. I gave him a few commands to speed up or slow down, and he followed them without trouble. A decently trained horse when he wasn’t scared out of his mind.

Lucas laughed behind me and leaned down to speak in my ear so he wouldn’t spook the horse. “Thank you for exposing the problem.”

I smiled. “I’ve missed this. I—”

“What?”

There were things I hadn’t thought about in a long time. That were too painful and too tainted to dive into. My love of animals was one of them. And what I’d hoped to do before I met Nathan. My voice felt thick in my throat and the world blurred with tears that I blinked back. “I’m not ready.”

The fingers on my waist tightened. “I’m here when you are.”

No questions or ridicule. Just acceptance. If I weren’t controlling a horse, I would have leaned back into him. We made a few more circles before Lucas spoke again. “Ready to put him away?”

Chapter 16

Lucas

Evelyn was a natural. Penny—the name suited the horse—was not a small animal, but she had showed absolutely no fear. It was clear that she had experience with horses and led Penny back to his stall in the stables without any fight. Exactly like I’d been trying to do for weeks.

It’s something I should have thought of, and definitely something that I would keep in mind in the future. Animals could experience PTSD too. That I’d missed that... I needed to pay better attention.