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Chapter 14

Jimmy – Big Moves

Waking up with Melenain my arms did not suck. What did, was knowing I couldn’t do a damn thing about it. She smelled faintly of jasmine, and I inhaled deeply before gently rolling away and sitting up on the edge of the bed. I looked down at my lap. Yeah, that was a problem. Luckily one I could take care of with a morning shower. I glanced back at Melena.

Her dark hair spread around her like a halo. I reached out and let a few strands slip gently between my fingers. Silky and soft. I sighed as I glanced back at my lap. Torturing myself wasn’t going to make spending time with her any easier. But I couldn’t look away for long. Watching her and not touching was a sweet torture I’d endure, if it meant I could have her in my life.

Her face was relaxed in sleep, all soft curves. She looked peaceful, and I blew out a quiet breath. She was safe. Protected. She was also fiercely independent and might want to kick my ass for thinking that way. I couldn’t help the Neanderthal corner of my brain that mirrored her emotions. Her happiness had become tied to my own happiness so quickly. I’d only had her for a span of five minutes in the scope of my overall life, but something about her presence made my chest expand. I rubbed my sternum. Maybe she wasn’t the only one with heart problems.

I took care of business and got dressed for the day, moving quietly so I didn’t wake Melena. I was sipping coffee in the kitchen when she shuffled out. My gray sweatpants pooled at her ankles, and the shirt collar played peekaboo with one rounded shoulder. “Hey,” she said as she moved to the coffee maker and poured herself a cup.

I smiled at her over my coffee mug as she sat down. “You sleep okay?”

She wrinkled her nose. “After the neighbors wrapped up their fun, yes. The joys of apartment life. Hard to believe we might not be sharing walls in a few weeks.”

My smile widened. “About that. I had a text from Erik. Our offer was accepted.”

I couldn’t help the pride in my tone. It was finally happening. And I had Melena to thank for making it possible. Erik told me the competition was fierce and our letter helped. The sellers remembered being newlyweds themselves.

Melena’s face broke into a grin. “Already? That’s amazing news. I can’t believe you bought a house!”

“Webought a house. Want to hear the other good news?”

“What, did you do something else amazing before breakfast?”

I chuckled. “I would have liked to, but your doctor says no for now.” More pink flushed Melena’s cheeks, and I couldn’t help the way my smile grew wider. “No, the sellers want to move up the closing date since the house is vacant and we’re not contingent buyers. We can move in two weeks.”

“Wow. So fast.”

I held back my laugh. Fast for Melena, but it was months in the making for me. Years if you counted the time I’d been saving. Everything I wanted was finally within reach. No more moving around. A place to call my own, and Melena to share it with.

I nodded. “Yes, a little unusual, but they were motivated to get out of their mortgage before the holidays and my loan was pre-approved.”

We discussed going out to dinner to celebrate and the moving details while I made us a simple breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast. Melena made an attentive audience, peppering me with questions about cooking and my gran after we’d exhausted our plans for moving day. The quiet pressed in on me after she went home to change. Rationally, I knew we didn’t have any of her things here, and I didn’t expect her to hang out all day. Still, my tiny apartment echoed when she was gone.

My drive to help her had grown like fire to something entirely different. Andi might not believe me, but Melena wasn’t another example of my protective instincts in overdrive. I just wasn’t sure she felt the same. I loved that we could laugh and joke together, but it made sensing when she was serious difficult. Turning off the charm to let her get close was hard. The man behind the humor didn’t always get rave reviews in relationships. It was easier to lead with the exterior and keep everything on the surface with other women. No drama. Just a pretty package and a good time. Nothing deeper, but Melena’s struggles made me want to share more of myself. From the first kiss when she passed out, I couldn’t let her face fear alone. Andi would scoff at my savior complex, but it was more for me. The question was how did Melena feel? I didn’t want to pressure her.

The controlled burn of affection crackled and jumped to an entirely new fuel. Flames licked at the pillars of my preconceptions. Everything I learned about her made me warmer and added to the blaze. Would she push me away if I shared my feelings? Would it be the dose of cold water I needed to control the fire, or would it seethe below the surface, slowly gaining ground regardless of her response? She claimed she needed to be independent. I thought having a partner’s support could only make her stronger. I didn’t need to challenge her independence. I wanted to burnwithher, not justforher.

***

The next few weeksflew by in a rush of packing, mortgage paperwork, and evenings on my days off spent with Melena. I didn’t broach my growing feelings. It should have been easy, but I couldn’t make myself do it. My fear was the only thing holding me back. If I didn’t tell her, she wouldn’t have to let me down gently. I wouldn’t see the pity in her eyes as she confirmed my worst fears; I was just a friend. Maybe one she wanted to kiss, but not someone she saw herself with long-term. If I didn’t tell her, I wouldn’t be tortured by every moment with her. I committed to helping Melena through her treatment. I wouldn’t go back on my promise, even if my growing feelings weren’t reciprocated. But living together was going to be torture if she pitied me. My department’s good opinion wasn’t worth that kind of disappointment.

She didn’t stay over again, and I couldn’t make myself ask. Not when we were moving in together in a matter of days. I could wait. It would be considerably less awkward without any neighborly acoustics.

I rallied Chase, Matteo, and a few coworkers to help us on moving day. My company was supportive of the house but surprised by my marriage.

“Congratulations, Jimmy. She must be a special woman if she snapped you up so quickly. You know what they say, real women marry firefighters...”

I didn’t even need to think to finish his sentence. I’d heard this one before. Many times. “Everyone else marries cops.”

Mark laughed at his own joke. “Seriously, though. I’ll have Brenda come help with the move so they can meet and exchange numbers. You want her to have a support system.”

Mark was my lieutenant, and I viewed the veteran as a mentor. If he said Melena needed a support system, then I wanted to introduce her to Brenda. She and Mark had been married forever; if anyone had wisdom to share on marrying a firefighter, she was a solid candidate. Melena hadn’t commented about my work schedule. I couldn’t help but wonder if that would change when we were living together.