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He leans back and sighs again. “She was stunning, even at eighteen. I asked her to dance, and then at the end of the evening, I asked if I could see her again. She said yes, and I took her to the cinema. A few days later, we went to our favorite cafe. We walked a lot. Just innocent stuff.”
“Did you introduce her to Blake?”
“Not for six weeks. Eventually he came back from the South Island, and I told him I’d met someone. They met at another party, the night before the second trimester started. They got on well, and I was pleased—I wanted them to like each other. I didn’t worry at first. She was warm and friendly to everyone. Then toward the end of the evening I went off to get us all a drink. When I came back, Blake and Amiria had disappeared. I asked a friend where they’d gone, and he said they’d left. When they didn’t come back, I went home alone, confused and angry. I rang both of them, but both their phones went to voicemail. The next day, at uni, he announced they were dating.”
“Jesus,” I say.
“I was furious at him and said he’d only asked her out because he knew I liked her. He denied it, but he was so fucking smug… I knew I was right. So I hit him. We got in a fight, and we were both suspended. We hardly said two words to each other after that, until the day at the commune.”
I don’t say anything for a moment. He dated her for six weeks, so it must have only been one factor in the pre-existing feud between him and Blake. After saying that, I know the effect that Scarlett had on me that day at the law firm, so I can’t blame him for being captivated.
“So was Mum just a rebound?” I ask softly. “Did you ever really love her?”
His gaze comes back to me. “You can’t have two kids with someone and not love them.”
“Are you sure? You never seemed in love.”
He gives an impatient frown. “Loving someone and being in love aren’t the same thing. You must know that by now.”
I hadn’t thought about it like that, but with some surprise I realize he’s probably right.
“Your mother was beautiful,” he says. “And she knew how to use her beauty and her love as currencies to get the things she wanted. Namely, me. Even at that age, she recognized my ambition and drive, and knew I was going places, so she got pregnant on purpose because she knew I’d do the right thing.”
I stare at him. “Seriously?” I’d guessed I was an accident, but I hadn’t considered that my mother engineered it.
“Yeah. She told me she was on the pill and I didn’t need to use a condom if I didn’t want to. I, like a fool, believed her.”
I give a short laugh. “You grilled me relentlessly about using a condom when I was a teen.”
“And why do you think I did that?”
With some surprise, I realize it was because he didn’t want me to make the same mistake that he did. I’d just assumed it was Dad being Dad, trying to control me.
“I was angry at your mother at first,” he says. “But in many ways we were well suited. She was an astute businesswoman, and a suitable companion socially. So I asked her to marry me, and we stayed together. But she doled her love out sparingly, both to me and to her children.”
I’ve only ever thought about the way she treated me and my siblings; I’ve never given any thought to how it must have felt to be married to a woman who could withhold affection the way she did.
It’s the most open and personal he’s ever been with me and, while he’s in the mood to confess, I ask curiously, “Did you ever have an affair?”
“No, never.”
I think about how it must have been for him to be trapped into marrying a woman he wasn’t in love with, someone who only wanted him for his fortune and social connections. It explains why he was so worried about Scarlett being attracted to my money. Once again, he was only looking out for me. The thought shocks me.
“Is there anyone else now?” I ask. I’ve never seen him with another woman since Mum died.
“No one serious. I don’t trust easily.”
I guess that’s understandable if he was tricked into marriage.
He frowns then. “I’m not sure I should have said that about your mother. She was a good woman, on the whole.”
“It’s okay,” I say. “I’m under no illusions about her. But it doesn’t mean Scarlett is the same. She’s not like either of our mothers. She’s very much her own woman.”
He gives me a wary look. “You might not think so, but you can’t always trust your instincts. She did get the extra two and a half million out of you.”
“I agreed to that so she didn’t feel she had to sleep with me to get it.”
His eyebrows lift; he hadn’t considered that.