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I grimaced, unsure of how to make my point.
“Yeah, but…”
I had no idea how to put it. Not without accusing him of wanting to touch me that way for more than just performative purposes.
“Yeah, but what?”
“Never mind.” I sat down, but I did so on the opposite side of the booth. What happened to my resolve, not to catch the feels? Why had I been so eager to just blow past my own boundary on the very first day I’d set it?
“Okay, so adoring looks in public, I think that goes without saying.” He sipped his coffee and nodded. “I mean, that would precede a kiss, for sure, right?”
“I don’t even know anymore,” I groaned. “I think we’ve got this basically mapped out now, and I’m tired and just want to go home.”
“I’ll give you a ride.”
He did more than just give me a ride. He gave me a ride in a limo, and then walked me up to my very door.
“So, a productive first date,” he said with a laugh.
“Yes, productive.” I made a fist pump gesture and he chuckled. We lapsed into silence and just kind of stared at each other for a long moment.
“Well, good night,” he said, looking as if he half wanted to come in for a hug. I remembered our discussion, about how maybe a peck on the cheek was appropriate for a first date. Was that what he expected?
Eventually, we wound up shaking hands, laughing, and backing away.
“Good night, Stan,” I said.
“Good night, Ivy.”
I smiled, closed the door, and turned around to rest my back against it. Slowly, my watery knees gave out and I sank to the floor.
“What have I gotten myself into?” I muttered to my empty apartment.
Chapter Nine
Stan
When I left Ivy’s place, a confusing jumble of feelings knotted up inside of me. My plan was off to a great start. I’d secured my fake girlfriend, and we’d had our first fake date.
Which ended with a very awkward handshake. It occurred to me that maybe we couldn’t sell ourselves to the other partners. That made me worried. What if I was wrong about love, and it was a real, lasting thing? What if they saw right through my ruse for that reason?
That would have been enough turmoil on its own. In my case, though, getting found out on my scheme right off the bat was just the tip of the iceberg.
What really ate at me was how damn disappointed I felt when she’d gotten out of the booth when I copped a little feel on her arm. Not like I set out to do it. It just kind of happened. It felt natural, in point of fact.
Eventually, I calmed myself down enough to get some sleep. I don’t remember what I dreamed but I’m pretty sure it was all rated R and involved my fake girlfriend.
Rated R? More like rated X.
At work the next day, I had a hell of a time concentrating on work. All I could think about was how she was just a few doors down the hall from me. So far, we hadn’t any excuses to see each other. I figured that would never do.
If I was dating someone, I’d sure pop in on them just to say hello. I mean, wouldn’t I? It was something my mother had done for my father a lot in the early days of their marriage. Just pop into his office to say hello.
I picked up my phone and sent her a text.
I should stop by your office.
A few seconds of watching the dots dance and then—