Page 79
I don’t find it funny. At all.
Instead, I feel my blood boiling, my fingers tightening on the door handle. I turn to him sharply, unable to hold it in anymore. “It’s inappropriate to make jokes like that, Ryan,” I snap, my voice biting and cold.
Ryan immediately shuts his mouth. I feel guilty, and I know I overreacted, but I don’t apologize. When we finally reach my house, I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. The evening’s been long, and I’m beyond exhausted. I thank Ryan, forcing a polite smile as I reach for the door handle.
“Hold on, Mia,” Ryan says, his voice cutting through the air, stopping me just before I can leave.
I pause, turning back to face him. “Yes?”
Ryan’s gaze is steady, but there’s something in his eyes, something knowing. “What exactly is the deal between you and Jack?” he asks, his tone sharp and probing.
My stomach tightens. I open my mouth, unsure of how to respond, but Ryan continues before I can answer. “I saw the way you were when Jack left the table with Mirta earlier. You lost interest in the date right away. I’m not stupid, Mia. I know something happened between you two when we went to watch the fireworks. Something has been happening between you two even before this date.” He leans back in his seat, watching me intently. “Anyone would think you had feelings for him.”
I don’t know what comes over me, but before I can stop myself, the words spill out.
“Yes, I do. I have feelings for him.”
Ryan doesn’t speak. He doesn’t move. It’s like the world around us has paused. I can feel the tension thickening between us, but all I can hear is the sound of my own heart thudding in my chest. I wait for Ryan to say something, but the words seem to be trapped in his throat.
Finally, he shifts, breaking the silence. “Wow,” he mutters under his breath, almost like he’s trying to process it, but it’s not directed at me. It’s like he’s speaking to himself.
The weight of my confession sits between us, and I don’t know what to do with it. I can feel the sting of regret beginning to creep in, but I don’t take it back. Jack’s presence—his kiss—has been haunting me, and it feels like it’s all been building up to this moment.
“You should know your feelings will lead nowhere, Mia.” Ryan’s words cut through me, sharper than I expect. His voice is low, and there’s a bitterness to it that catches me off guard.
“Jack could never like you. He’s a narcissist who only cares about himself. He’s a playboy, and no matter how much you try to find him a woman, it’ll backfire. A leopard can never change its spots.”
A knot tightens in my chest, my breath quickening in response to his harsh words.
I narrow my eyes at him. “You’re judging him, Ryan. And it’s beneath you. You don’t know him.”
Ryan shakes his head, his expression hard. “But it’s true! I know it is. You’re just fooling yourself, Mia. He doesn’t care about you, and you’re just wasting your time. He’ll never change.”
I bite my lip, trying to hold back the sting of his words, but they hit a nerve. He’s right in some ways—Jack is complicated, far more than I can understand. But my feelings for him, however irrational, are real. I can’t help them. I can’t change them.
“I’m not a fool,” I say, my voice quiet but firm. “I know he can’t love me. I know this is just a PR stunt, and he probably isn’t going to change. But that doesn’t stop my feelings.”
Ryan’s face contorts with frustration. He buries his head in his hands, like the weight of my words is too much to bear. “Why don’t you give us a chance, Mia?” His voice cracks with emotion. “I’m real. Jack is not. You deserve someone who’s there for you, who actually loves you.”
I snap. The anger I’ve been holding back all evening—maybe all these years—erupts like a dam breaking.
“You left me!” I shout at him, my voice trembling with the hurt I’ve carried for so long. “I wassoin love with you. You were my first love, but you left me and hurt me. You made me beg for your love because you were too cowardly to tell me you stopped loving me a long time ago!”
The words feel like they’ve been trapped inside me, waiting to escape. I can see the shock on Ryan’s face as I unleash everything I’ve kept buried for years. He doesn’t speak; he just stares, frozen by my outburst.
I try to steady my breath, my heart pounding in my chest, but the anger and the hurt won’t let me go. “You have no idea how much you broke me,” I add quietly, my voice wavering.
Ryan doesn’t know how to respond, and I don’t know if I want him to. I don’t need him to explain. I don’t need him at all.
Before he can say anything, I pull open the door and step out of the car. “Please leave,” I say, my voice hard but broken. “I don’t want to see you again.”
I don’t wait for a response. I turn on my heel and hurry into the house, my legs unsteady. I slam the door behind me, locking it before I sink to the floor.
I stumble into my room and collapse onto my bed, my emotions crashing down on me in waves. The tears come fast, too fast to control, and I sob into the pillow, my chest heaving.
I feel so lost, so broken. My heart aches for the love I gave to Ryan, for the love I have for Jack, and how hopeless it all is. My phone buzzes in my bag, and through the glassy gaze of tears, I find the phone. It’s my mom. I wipe my tears quickly, trying to regain some sense of composure, but my chest is still tight.I don’t have the energy to talk, but I know her. She won’t stop calling until I answer.
“Mom, I just got home. I’ll call you back,” I say, keeping my voice steady, before hanging up.
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 79 (Reading here)
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 105
- Page 106
- Page 107
- Page 108
- Page 109
- Page 110
- Page 111
- Page 112
- Page 113
- Page 114
- Page 115
- Page 116
- Page 117
- Page 118