Page 72
For a moment, I don’t say anything. I just stare at her, my mind racing, trying to come to terms with what she’s said.
“Right,” I finally say, my voice tight.
We’re pretty much back to square one, and I’m aware that nothing will ever change between us. The weight of her words hangs in the air between us, and as much as I want to fight it, I know that I can’t force her to feel something she doesn’t want to feel.
I can’t shake the feeling of defeat, like I’m standing in front of a door that’s just been slammed shut. Maybe it’s better this way. Maybe it’s for the best. But man, it stings.
I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding and turn back to face her.
“I should go,” I say quietly. “Where’s your car?”
She sniffs and forces a smile. “I’ll call an Uber.”
“Get in.” My car is a few steps away, and I unlock the door and open the passenger side. She starts to shake her head but I slide her a glance. “Come on, Mia. I’m not taking no for an answer.”
She hesitates for a moment before rolling her eyes and sliding into my passenger seat with a murmur of appreciation. The last thing I want right now is to be in a car with her. We just kissed for the second time, and I’m not even over the first.
I’m a complete wreck as I start the car and pull out of there. I think about everything in the past few weeks that led me to this point, and I’m not sure when my attraction to Mia started. All I know is that it’s a waste of time going on all these other dates because all I can think about is Mia.
The ride back to town is suffocating. The silence hangs between us like a thick fog, neither of us willing to break it. Mia’s eyes are trained on the window, her face unreadable as the scenerypasses by in muted shades of green and brown. She’s lost in thought, and I can’t help but feel like she’s a million miles away.
I grip the wheel tighter, my knuckles turning white. What do I even say? Am I sure I want to say anything?
It’s killing me.
I glance over at her briefly, wondering what’s going through her head. What is she thinking? I don’t know why, but my curiosity is eating away at me, gnawing at the back of my mind. But I don’t ask.
The engine hums, the only sound filling the quiet car. And then, just as I’m about to lose it, she speaks.
“Why did you come all the way to the hospital to see me?”
I’m caught off guard by the question, and now that she’s asked, I don’t know how to answer. I shrug, trying to play it off, but I know I’ve been cornered. I didn’t have a good reason, and it’s frustrating. Why did I go there? I didn’t need to. I could have waited until tomorrow or just stayed in town and kept my distance—like I should have. But for some reason, I couldn’t. I had to see her immediately.
“Just wanted to get around, you know? See the town a little bit,” I say, trying to make it sound casual, like it doesn’t matter. “I haven’t been around town much. And your mom said the hospital wasn’t far, so yeah.”
It sounds weak even as I say it, but what else could I say? I don’t want to admit that I went there because I couldn’t stand the idea of not seeing her, of not being close to her.
Mia doesn’t respond right away. She just nods, as if my answer is enough for her. Maybe it is. Or maybe she just doesn’t want to push it further, the way I don’t want to push her.
“So, how did your date with Ashley go?” she asks casually.
“It wasn’t any better than the one with Denise,” I say, my tone flat, as if I’ve said this a thousand times already. Well, I think I have. In different ways. No one seems to be listening to me.
I can feel her eyes on me, studying me. “Are you even trying, Jack?” she asks, her voice a little sharper now, tinged with something I can’t quite place.
I shift uncomfortably in my seat. “I’m not sure how to try when I don’t feel any connection with either of them. It’s not my fault, Mia.” I sigh. “There’s nothing there. Not with Denise, not with Ashley. It’s just not happening.”
She doesn’t push it. Instead, she just nods, her gaze turning back to the window, her fingers tracing patterns on the dashboard. I want to say more, to explain why it’s so hard to put myself into these dates, but the words are stuck in my throat. So I focus on the road, the quiet between us settling like fog.
As we near her shop, Mia glances at me, her eyes soft but unreadable. “Take me to my parents’ house, please,” she says, her tone soft. “I need to grab my car.”
I nod, not saying anything, and make my way toward her parents’ place. The drive feels shorter than it should, and it feels like time is my opponent. I don’t want her to leave, even though it was a quiet and uncomfortable drive.
When we pull up to the house, Mia doesn’t waste any time. She opens the door before I can say anything else, but then herdad, Ben, steps out onto the patio. He spots us immediately and waves enthusiastically.
“Jack!” Ben calls, a big smile crossing his face. “Good to see you! Come on in, join us for dinner!”
I’m about to say something, but Mia cuts in before I can get the words out.
Table of Contents
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