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I take a deep breath, then nod. Sarah carefully hands the baby over, and I sit down, cradling him as I try to settle into this unexpected moment.
Liam’s eyes are tightly shut, his little face peaceful. The world outside fades away as I look at him.
“He’s so tiny,” I whisper, almost to myself. There’s an awe in my voice that I can’t disguise, and Jack chuckles softly.
Sarah watches us. “Isn’t he? But he’s a fighter. You’ll see.”
A pang hits my chest, and I can’t stop my mind from drifting back to Emily. We’d talked about this, about someday having a child of our own. But now…
I brush away the thought, trying to focus on the here and now, the miracle I’m holding.
Jack breaks the silence, beaming as he says, “We’ve named him Liam. After my grandfather.”
“It’s a strong name,” I say, glancing up with a small smile. “Your grandfather would be proud.”
Jack gives me a nod, pride filling his expression. After a few more moments, I carefully hand Liam back to Sarah, feeling an unexpected emptiness as I let him go.
When it’s time to leave, Jack walks me out. He’s grinning, his eyes still glowing with the excitement of fatherhood. But then his expression softens, and he glances over at me.
“How’s Emily?” he asks quietly.
I shake my head. “I don’t know, Jack. We haven’t spoken in over six weeks.”
Jack frowns, giving me a searching look. “You know, people make mistakes, Andrew. That doesn’t make them bad people.”
The words hit me hard, but I don’t know how to respond. I swallow, looking away. “It’s all in the past,” I say finally, not wanting to dig into the raw ache that’s still there.
Jack sighs, nodding slowly. “Alright. I won’t push.” He hesitates, then gives me a small, hopeful smile. “You know, Sarah really liked Emily. She’s been talking about asking her to be Liam’s godmother.”
The suggestion stuns me. “Emily? As Liam’s godmother?”
Jack nods, his eyes full of understanding. “Yeah. She felt a connection with Emily. She wants someone who feels like family.”
I take a deep breath, feeling emotions I’ve been trying to bury for weeks rise to the surface. Emily as Liam’s godmother. I picture her holding Liam, smiling down at him with that gentle look in her eyes, and it’s almost too much to bear.
Jack’s gaze softens. “I know it’s complicated, Andrew. But you both shared something real. Just think about it.”
I nod, not trusting myself to speak. Jack gives my shoulder a reassuring squeeze before he heads back to Sarah, and I walk away, Liam’s tiny face still etched in my mind.
As I exit the hospital, I can’t shake the thought of what might have been, of the life I thought Emily and I would build together.
Sundays are turning out to be my worst days.
It’s the day that used to feel like a reset. Making love with Emily in the morning, playing with the dogs in the backyard, then lunch at my parents’ with Emily.
Now, it’s just another reminder of what I don’t have. The house is too quiet. It feels like an abandoned home. Every room reminds me of Emily. The only reason I go home at the end of each day is because of Bruno and Bear.
I haven’t moved back into the master bedroom. It’s too painful. Too stark of a reminder of Emily.
I head to my parents’ house for lunch. I’ve missed the last two Sunday lunches, using work as my excuse, but now Mom’s insistence finally wore me down.
As soon as I step inside, the familiar scent of food fills the air. My stomach growls, reminding me that I skipped breakfast this morning. I’m not eating properly, I barely slept. I lied to Jack when I said it’s all in the past.
Emily is with me day in and day out. The only time I get a respite from aching for her is the few hours of sleep that I catch at night.
My mother’s face lights up as she sees me, though her eyes have a hint of that worried look she’s been giving me lately. Her and Daniel are in the living room and they stand up when I enter.
“I’ve called you twice and you haven’t returned my calls,” Daniel says.