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I stare out the window of the car as it glides through the city streets, trying to shake the lingering tension in my chest.
The Army Base Riviera was right next to a military base. One look at the rows of barracks, the hum of soldiers training, and it was like I was back in Afghanistan.
“I think…” I trail off, my throat tightening as I fight to focus. “Army Base has potential, but it’s going to need more work than Lakeside.”
Emily is sitting next to me, watching me carefully, but I keep my gaze fixed outside.
My mind is a minefield right now, littered with images I don’t want to revisit. The distant sound of boots hitting the ground, the grainy feeling of sand and dust clinging to my skin.
The memories rush at me, uninvited, like they always do when I’m caught off guard. I’m pissed off at myself for my lack of preparation.
The Army Base Riviera is named that way because it’s next to a military base. I should have known that would be a trigger.
“Andrew?” Emily's voice pulls me back slightly. She sounds concerned. I can feel her eyes on me, and I know I’m not doing a great job of hiding how rattled I am.
I clear my throat, forcing my voice to stay steady. “We’ll figure it out. We’ll sit down and go over the numbers later.”
Silence stretches between us for a moment. I can tell she wants to ask more, maybe push, but thankfully, she doesn’t.
I can’t handle that right now. All I can think about is getting home, getting out of this suit, and pounding out the memories on the treadmill until they disappear.
The car pulls into the driveway, and I’m out the door before the driver can even fully stop. Emily follows, but I don’t give her a chance to say anything.
“I’m going to the gym,” I say abruptly, not meeting her eyes. I can feel her confusion, her hesitation, but I don’t wait for her to respond. I just need to get away, need space to clear my head.
I make a beeline for my room, stripping off my suit and changing into workout gear like a man on a mission. Adrenaline pumps though me, the need to push myself to the limit, to drown out the chaos in my head.
The gym is a sanctuary. I hit the treadmill hard, the sound of my feet slamming against the belt matching the frantic rhythm of my heartbeat.
Every step is an attempt to shake the memories loose, to leave them behind where they belong.
Focus, Andrew. Don’t let this get to you. Not again.
I increase the speed, forcing my body to keep up. The burn in my muscles, the pounding in my chest—it helps. It’s the only thing that ever helps.
I can’t afford to fall apart. Everyone’s watching me. The Riviera project, my family, this ridiculous marriage to Emily—it’s all riding on me keeping it together.
PTSD isn’t going to ruin my life. I won’t let it.
After what feels like an eternity, the tension finally starts to ease. The memories fade to the background, replaced by the satisfying ache of overworked muscles.
By the time I step off the treadmill, drenched in sweat, my mind is clearer.
I grab a towel and head upstairs to take a shower, letting the hot water wash away the lingering tension. By the time I’m out and dressed, I’m feeling more like myself again.
The house is quiet. Emily isn’t here, and I find a note on the kitchen counter.
Popped out for a bit. Be back later.
It’s tempting to ask her where she’s gone, but I remind myself that she’s not my real wife. I have no right to care, no right to ask. This arrangement is just business, nothing more.
I head out to the back yard to play with Bear and Bruno.
Emily still hasn’t returned by dinner time, and a part of me is relieved. I’m still feeling off, and the last thing I need is to deal with awkward conversation.
I eat alone, the quiet of the house settling around me like a blanket, and by the time I finish, I’m more exhausted than I’d like to admit.
I head to bed, but sleep is elusive. My mind keeps pulling me back to the Army Base Riviera, to the military base next door. To the life I thought I’d left behind.