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And, honestly, it made what I was carrying just that little bit lighter.
I shifted up against the pillows, actually managing it this time, and I wrapped my arms around her, holding her tightly to me.
We stayed that way for several moments, soaking in it.
And then she brushed some of my vibrant-blue hair back from my face and asked me, “What were you doing teleporting out there like that? There was so much urgency and—”
“Crazed recklessness?”
“I wasn’t going to put it that way.”
“You should. I was beyond reckless and I’m sorry I put you in that position all because I wasn’t thinking of larger consequences. I was too focused on the immediate.”
“And the immediate was?”
“You were more right about Ketheron than you even realized.”
Her eyes widened and she instantly tensed. “What do you mean?”
“He’s far from a soulless monster. He… helped me. He tried to help me more still. I know it, I felt it, when I remembered.”
She shifted her weight on the bed. “Remembered what?”
“I… I guess seeing him triggered it… triggered the memories I’d had buried… and I… he was there… in the lab with me… theywere cutting into me and…” I scrubbed my hand over my face, shuddering as I openly recalled it.
“Nyx,” she soothed, stroking my arm gently.
I sucked in a breath and forced myself onward. “I was being experimented on… hurt… really badly… and he… he told me to hold on. He helped me. Hecared.”
She was quiet for a while, but she didn’t stop stroking my arm, soothing me.
“I’m sorry you had to go through remembering that. I can’t even imagine.”
“It’s not just about me, Halo.”
“I know,” she said softly.
“He’s not a villain. At least, he doesn’t want to be. You were right about pulling the focus away from harming him—or worse. He’s already been through worse as it is. Like me.” I grimaced. “Likeme.”
She wrapped her arms around me and held me to her, slinking her fingers through my hair, even lightly brushing my horns to soothe me further. I trembled at the sensation, not sexual, but anchoring andsoloving.
When I lifted my head and eased back a little to look at her, I said, “If I can remember more, I can figure him out a lot deeper. And if I can recall those scientists who were experimenting on me, I could figure out which ones experimented on him. We could track them down and find out more about Ketheron’s makeup, figure out a way to pull him off the Celestial Plane’s leash so he’s not a threat to you or anyone here on the mortal plane. And we could also free him at the same time.”
“I understand and I hear you, but you’re already suffering from remembering a mere part of those experiments that you endured.”
“It’s okay. I can handle it.”
“I know you’re strong. Hell, we all know just how strong you are. So resilient, so determined and brave. The way you hold your heart on your sleeve in spite of the life you’ve led… it’s a huge demonstration of strength, Nyx. But what you’re suggesting, it risks unraveling you.”
“But the fact that I recalled that memory at all when it was buried with the spell Kai performed to take that time from me suggests that I’m ready now to take it, to manage to relive it.”
“Wrong,” a familiar voice boomed through the room.
We both spun and shifted on the bed toward the door to Ariana’s childhood bedroom to see Kai leaning against the doorway, arms folded across his chest. “That spell was complicated and multifaceted. The mind is an intricate instrument. As such, there were possibilities of things arising that couldn’t be clearly accounted for.”
“Side effects,” Ariana spoke.
“In essence. This was one of them. Coming into contact with a visceral trigger of your time in that hellhole risked upsetting the spell, peeling it back, weakening it. From what I just heard, seeing Ketheron again, somebody who was there in that time and space with you, functioned as one such trigger. That’s what’s happening. It doesn’t mean you’re now ready to deal with it. We’re not talking about natural memory repression in the wake of severe trauma, and memories now ready to break through. It’s not the same.”