Page 105 of Man Seeking Woman

Chapter Twenty-seven

Ella

––––––––

Laying on Kayla's couch, I wiped my nose with a tissue, trying to stop the tears from streaming down my face.

“What the hell did I do? Why did I ever think a man like that could actually love me? It was always about the contract, about the baby he needed. He never really gave a shit about me. I'm so fucking stupid.”

“You're not stupid. Everything's going to be alright, Ella, I promise.” Kayla was sitting next me, rubbing my upper back, trying her hardest to calm me down. “Things might suck now, but it'll get better.”

“I just don't understand. I thought we shared something special, I thought there was more between us. Why didn't I see how fake he was?” Burying my face in my hands, my lungs heaved to take in air as the tears went from streaming to full blown flood warning.

“He's a dick, this is on him, you didn't do anything wrong. He just fucked up something amazing, and one day he'll regret not choosing you over some rich model.”

“That doesn't make me feel any better.”

“I'm just saying it's his loss. That girl is going to find someone else who has more money than August and she'll be gone. That's how her type works, it's all about money.” Kayla laid her head on my shoulder, her voice soothing. “And once she's gone, he's going to wish he hadn't been such a fool.”

“It's no one's loss, Kay, this was the plan. I'm getting upset over something that was never meant to be. I was only there to have his baby, nothing more. He didn't owe me shit, we weren't really together. It was all a fucking act, and I was the idiot who got sucked into the script.”

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Shooting her eyes to the door, she said, “I bet it's Justin, he probably forgot his key again.” Kayla got up and walked to her door.

I kept my head buried in my arms, with water oozing from my sockets like leaky pipes. I wanted so badly to make all this hurt disappear. It was everywhere, in my muscles, in my head, behind my eyes. My heart was beating, but it felt like I had been stabbed with a serrated blade.

I let this happen. I let him do this to me.

August had made it clear from the beginning. I was merely a pawn, one he was willing to use and pay to get what he needed. And I agreed, knowing full well what I was doing.

Unfortunately, I let playing house get into my head, creating this false sense of love and care that was never meant to be there.

“She doesn't want to see you, you need to leave.” Kayla sounded anxious and angry, not moving away from the doorway.

“I'm not going anywhere, I need to see her.”