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Sumner brought his body even closer to mine, the back of my legs connecting with the front of his. “How long have you been awake?”
“Not long.” I felt so small pressed against his chest, and this hadn’t been how we fell asleep last night.We’d been facing each other, and Sumner had traced his fingers through my hair until my eyes slipped closed. It hadn’t taken that long; I truly had been wiped out. “I think the pain in my hip woke me up.”
He gave a ghostly laugh behind me, one that disappeared into my hair as he ducked his head closer. “You could’ve stayed in your bed.”
“You should’ve joined me.” I scowled at the far wall. “What is the difference, anyway? We’re laying exactly like we would’ve up there, except we’re laying on dust bunnies instead of a memory foam mattress.”
“It’s different,” he said, but followed it up with no supporting evidence. Instead, his arm just tightened around me, pressing me closer to him. “What are you doing today?”
Staying here all day. “I should…” I drew in a short breath, something in my stomach turning. “I should probably go see Nancy.”
“Probably,” he agreed. “You haven’t seen her since Sunday, right?”
Not since we’d parted ways at the hospital on awful terms. I knew it was a terrible way to leave things, especially given her precarious health, but more than anger, a different emotion kept me away now. I ran my fingertips over his knuckles. “I’m… scared.”
Sumner’s voice was soft as his nose brushed my ear. “Of what?”
“I’m afraid I’ll go, and I’ll find her doing worse.” I once more scowled at the wall, because a burning sensation had crept into my eyes. “Which I know is stupid—if Ithought she was going to be worse, I should’ve gone to see her as soon as I could, but…”
“It is scary,” Sumner agreed, and he pulled his hand out from underneath mine to trace his hand down my arm, starting where my short-sleeve shirt ended all the way to my wrist. it was a different sort of comforting touch, one that distracted me at the same time. “But it’d be worse to regret it later.”
The burning in my eyes intensified, and I squeezed them shut.Later. We’ll think about it all later. “When did you go to Spain?”
“What?”
“I heard your coworkers you’d been to England and Spain.” I settled back firmer against his chest, trying to feel his heartbeat. “I want to know more about you. I feel like… there’s more I have to learn.”
“And I have more to learn about you. We have all the time in the world to work through it.” Sumner’s fingertips traced their way back up my arm, a lulling, pacing path. “Those were both trips I took after high school, before college. It was the same trip, really—a long one. Fun, but I learned I’m not really a travel bug.”
I hummed a little as I took in his words. The ache in my hip was getting too painful to ignore, but I still didn’t move. Becausethere, finally—I held still long enough that I could feel the steadythump-thumpof his heart through his chest. It was enough to ease the worries I’d woken up with from my mind, or at least ease them enough that they didn’t seem so heavy.
“I was thinking about what Aaron said,” I toldSumner suddenly, changing the subject. “Before you woke up.”
Sumner laid his hand on my arm, trying to roll me over. “Look at me,” he said at once.
“No.” My voice was resolute. “I haven’t brushed my teeth and I refuse to let you smell my morning breath. I wasn’t thinking anything bad. I was just… I think it’s funny.”
“What’s funny?”
“How convinced Aaron was that I’d do the right thing. He thought for sure if the choice was having you and ruining you, that I’d go without.” I let out a little breath, one that could’ve sounded like a laugh in different circumstances. “I just find it funny.”
Sumner propped himself up, his elbow digging into the pillows. “Why is that funny?”
“Not funny ha-ha. He just called me selfish, told me all those things about resenting you, and expected me to do the selfless thing.” I brought Sumner’s hand up to my lips, allowing his skin to absorb my words. “Do you think he knows what irony is?”
Sumner didn’t reply at first, most likely struggling to gauge my tone without being able to doublecheck my expression.
“I don’t know why he expected that to work,” I said ultimately. “He claims he knows me so well, but he doesn’t know me at all.”
Sumner still didn’t speak. I let myself roll just a little bit, just enough to look at him over my shoulder. Sleep left Sumner’s golden hair mussed, his blue eyes puffy, everything about him just chest-achingly breathtaking.How many more times?The words were a whisper in my mind.How many more times will I get to wake up to this?“So, you’re going to be selfish, then?” he asked with a hopeful tone.Like me selfishly, Sumner had said last night.I’ll let you.
“No.” I watched his eyes. “I don’t like you just because of the way you make me feel. If that were the case, I would’ve fired you the moment you called me out for being whiny. Or when you said you enjoyed the beans on toast.”
A corner of his mouth peeked up.
“I like you because you’re kind and funny and have the cutest puppy eyes. And, sure, maybe we still have a lot to learn about each other, but… that’s just another reason to keep going, right?”
The way Sumner propped up had him hovering over me, peering down as if I, too, was the most breathtaking thing he’d seen in a while. I couldn’t imagine that being the case; my hair had to be a knotted, rumpled mess. “I think we balance each other out well.”