Page 5

I’m good with numbers, better in life than on paper.

But obviously, I’m not addicted, because I know when to stop.

Not that it’s my intention though.

I enjoy fucking far too much. Like I said, I like the workout, the challenge, and the chase because I’m a man of many aspirations. As long as I have a goal in sight, I like to sweep right in and finish it in one fast ride.

See things through, so to say.

When I came up with the idea of a 365-day non-stop sex calendar, I didn’t realize it would be such a rewarding challenge. My best friend, Cash Boyd, owner of the famous Club 69 establishments, couldn’t agree more. In fact, he’s the one who’s been more concerned that I make it than even I am. He’s my wingman.

It’s not an easy task, let me tell you that.

In a city of one million women, half of them are married. A small percentage is gay, widowed, and doesn’t fall between the age of twenty-two and forty years old. That’s already a small pool. What I’m looking for is the small percentage (of an already small pool) that actually wants to stay single and enjoys sex without any sort of commitment.

I admit, that’s my favorite kind of woman.

Unfortunately, they’re not easy to find. The majority are romantics pining for “The One.” I call them the “deluded lunatics.”

Maybe it’s because I don’t fall in love.

The only two things I’ve ever loved are my work and the way my dick always seems to know what to do.

I just don’t like the drama, the pleading, having to stifle a woman’s hope that someday we’ll be in a relationship. For the life of me, I cannot see myself depending on someone to make me happy, to let someone so close to me that I would have to trust her.

Which is why I’m always being upfront with every woman I meet before I invite her back to my place:

The only relationship I have is with my cock.

That’s another reason why I started the 365-day sex calendar in the first place.

The way I see it, I’m doing women a favor. They learn from me. I live to please them and treat them well. That’s one of the most important rules I set up.

I even love going down on them if I know they’re clean.

I’m not doing men though. I’m as straight as a cannon and love to dive into deep places that are warm, moist, and welcoming, like a hot apple pie fresh from the oven.

I said that to the company board. My honesty didn’t help my case. They had little understanding for my “sex escapades” as they called my little encounters, after which they came up with the grand idea of setting an ultimatum: retire from my own company and leave the board or agree to get therapy.

That decision was a no-brainer. I’m far too young and sexy to retire. Besides, they need me because I’m the only one who knows how to run my company the way it should be run. It’s not my fault they’re thick-skulled brutes, with their only interest being fluffing up their savings accounts rather than expand. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to ask for investors, never sold the shares to start up. Obviously, I have to have some patience and understanding, what with most of them being past sixty and counting.

You can’t expect people who have no idea what Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, and the likes are to get me.

I’ll tell you a secret.

I do actually know what’s going on.

They’re bored with their lives because nothing ever happens, which makes them jealous of me.

That’s right.

They’re jealous ofme.

Jealous because they’re married and stuck in their boring routine.

Jealous because they think they have left their best years behind and miss their old, carefree days.

Divorce is always an option, but not when it’s already their second and third marriage.