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“You think she’s hot.”

“Like you wouldn’t believe.” I close my eyes and the image of her red hair brushing her shoulders flashes before my eyes. “Under any other circumstances, I would fuck her.”

“Why don’t you?”

“Because she’s crazy.”

“That’s your kind,” Cash says. “I don’t think you’ve ever done normal.”

“Not that kind,” I reply. “She’s like batshit crazy.”

“How crazy are we talking about?”

“Let me think.” I pause and think back to all the crazy shit that’s ever happened in my life. “Remember when I stopped giving out my phone number because of that woman who kept calling and went on to stalk me for nearly a year?”

“You mean Joanna?”

“You still know her name?” I ask surprised.

“Hell yeah, I do. She worked the bar at one of my clubs. As I recall, I explicitly told you not to fuck her. I told you she had issues, but you wouldn’t listen.”

“You weren’t explicit enough,” I say with a smile. “Anyway, this one’s just like her. A stalker.”

“You’re saying that—”

“—I’m roomed with a fucking love addict.”

“Shit,” Cash says slowly after a pause. “No sex addict, then. I feel for you.”

“Sex couldn’t be further from her mind. But the problem lies elsewhere: she’s into someone else,” I say. “I’m facing a crisis here. I need to hook up with someone. Do you think you can arrange something to make this all a little easier on me? You know, get me out of here for a couple hours.”

He lets out another roaring laugh. “Are we talking about breaking you out? Already? You’ve barely been in there for what—a day?”

“Come on. We’re only talking for an hour or two. Let’s hit a club. Meet some chicks. Have a few drinks. Help me get the chance to finish my 365 non-stop sex calendar. I only skipped yesterday so it doesn’t really count. I’m so close.”

“How close?” I can hear the excitement in his voice.

“Just one left, and you’ll hear the dong.”

“Damn. You’ve really gone through with it?” Cash’s voice echoes through the line, heavy with disbelief. “I thought you gave up long ago.”

“A bet is a bet. Do I look like someone who’s ready to lose?”

“I didn’t think you would take is so seriously.”

“Well, I am. So don’t waste the five hundred bucks you owe me because I’m almost ready to pick up my check.”

“Almost,” Cash says, laughing. “All right. I’m going to help. You still have your phone?”

“I wouldn’t be talking to you if I didn’t.”

“Good, don’t lose it. I can arrange for a driver to pick you up this Friday.”

“Why Friday?”

“I’m opening another club. There’s someone I want you to meet. She is a new dancer I hired last week. I think you’ll like her. You’re absolutely her type: young, rich and an asshole.”

I let the asshole comment slide, because to be honest, I don’t care what Cash thinks of me.