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He chuckled. “Ah. We catchthem. Of course, why didn’t I think of that?”
Kenna lifted a brow. “Unless you’re planning on ditching me anytime soon.”
Jax got up and came to stand in front of her. Wide shoulders. Taller than her in a way that was nice but didn’t mean she had to be up on her tiptoes. He braced his hands on the edge of the counter on either side of her but didn’t touch her. His nearness was enough. Like inhaling a potent drug.
“For the record,” he said, “even when I get Tilley in cuffs and take him back to California, I won’t be ‘ditching’ you.” He made air quotes with one hand. “That’s not in my five-year plan.”
“Good to know.” She inhaled, then sighed out the innate scent that was pure Jax. “You know, it’s a lot less distracting when you’re in another state working your own cases.”
“You mean sitting at my desk, wondering what you’re wading into with every new day, and how hard I should be praying about it?”
She scowled.
“I shouldn’t pray for you?”
“Oh, you definitely should.” She sighed. “It just sounded a lot like what I do.”
“Worring about me? Praying?”
As if she was going to let him know how much she thought about him.
Letting in her life was one thing, but being vulnerable about everything wasn’t a switch that could be turned on and off. It was more like a slow leak, and the more that got out, the easier it was for the next trickle to come after. “What goes on in my head is none of your business.”
Jax chuckled. And before she could figure out he wasn’t looking at a call or text, he’d switched his phone to selfie mode and snapped an image of the two of them. That’s how easily he could reach his phone without moving.
“What was that?!” She tried to grab the phone.
His arm slid around her waist. “My sister wants to meet you, so I’ll try appeasing her with a photo first.”
Kenna held on for dear life.
“What?” His expression softened.
“You have a sister.” Somehow she’d never processed that fact. He had a brother-in-law and nephews as well. “And a mother.”
He didn’t say anything.
Kenna clenched her stomach and admitted the next little trickle of what was in her heart. “I never had either. How am I going to know what to say?”
“You did fine with Forrest, right? And Elizabeth Stairns. Taylor, way back in Salt Lake City.”
She didn’t need to admit to him that she felt a lot more comfortable in work situations rather than personal ones. Or that talking to men would probably always be easier.
She’d been raised by a single father.
She’d never had a “girl” moment in her life. Unless this counted as one. But since she was so unaccustomed to it, she had no idea what the scale was. She thought maybe this was more like deep insecurity than just being female.
Did every woman feel strong and broken nearly in the same moment?
Jax tugged her against him and held her for a moment. “Like I said, I’m not going to abandon you. Okay?”
Kenna nodded against his shirt, even thoughokaydidn’t really apply here. It never did. Life was life and being “okay” wasn’t a good descriptor of the nuances of human experience.
Bradley had killed himself to escape the horror they’d been in. He’d left her and their baby she’d been carrying alone in that situation because he’d given up hope.
She wasn’t going to compare them, even if she believedJax would never do that. The past was the past, and it had forged in her all the confidence and all the fears she carried.
Jax was a different man. Their situation would always be different.