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Was he? Gabriel no longer knew what he was doing where Lily was concerned. Except the thought of not seeing or being with her again was anathema to him. Even the thought of it made him feel nauseous.
He tensed. “What makes you think there is anything between the two of us to end prematurely?”
“Because by your words and attitude, you have already admitted as much. Do not attempt to deny it, because I will not believe you,” his friend chided before Gabriel could speak. “Besides, I have come to realize that age is irrelevant where desire exists,” he added harshly.
Gabriel gave the other man a searching glance. “You sound as if you might be speaking from experience.”
Hellsmere looked taken aback. “Absolutely not,” he denied vehemently. “I am merely advising, as your desire is obviously reciprocated, that you allow your feelings for Lily Tremayne to run their course. You will only regret it later if you do not.”
Gabriel scowled. “That would seem to imply those feelings are only transitory.”
“Is that not exactly what they are? Yours for her, at least.” The other man quirked a derisive eyebrow. “Lily Tremayne is a lovely young lady, intelligent too from what I remember of her when I danced with her once at a ball toward the end oflast year’s Season— Calm down, St. Albans,” Hellsmere advised when the jealousy Gabriel felt rising within himself obviously became visible to his friend. “I danced with her. We discussed the weather and the upcoming grouse season, which her father and brothers apparently all enjoy and take part in. What I meant to imply by the word intelligent is that the lady is not a giggling and simpering nincompoop like so many of the other debutants are. Chloe excluded.”
“Of course.” Gabriel nodded. “I should not care for Lily if she were emptyheaded.”
“Indeed.” Hellsmere nodded. “But it would be foolish to think that intelligence and physical appeal will be enough to hold your attention for longer than a few weeks, possibly a month or two.”
“Why do you think that?” Gabriel asked.
“Because Mariah has been dead for nineteen years, and you have never shown, by word or deed, the least inclination to publicly or privately tie yourself to another woman during that time. Ergo, your desire for Lady Tremayne will likely be fleeting and quickly over. On your part, at least.”
Hellsmere was quite correct in his summation regarding Gabriel having had no longevity of interest in any woman since Mariah died.
Leading Gabriel to realize that hisdesirefor Lily, although currently as intense as the heat of a furnace, possibly burnedtoohot and strongly not to eventually burn itself out. Leaving only ashes in its wake.
LeavingGabrielin ashes.
He had chosen to distance himself from people all these years because he knew his own nature so well. Only Chloe was allowed to occupy space in his heart. There was no room for anyone else.
“Why did you say ‘on your part, at least’?” he asked slowly.
Hellsmere gave him a pitying look. “My dear Gabriel, when a young and beautiful woman such as Lily Tremayne agrees to a physical affair, which is all you appear to have offered her, it is because she is already in love with you.”
“No!”
“Yes.”
“You are wrong,” Gabriel maintained without hesitation. “We…enjoy each other, but I would know if Lily was in love with me.”
“Would you?”
“Yes, damn it,” he snapped. “But you are quite right. I should stop this now, before any irrevocable damage is done to Lily’s reputation.” Beforehewas totally destroyed once Lily no longer wanted him!
“I believe I said the opposite.” Hellsmere frowned. “And is this not a rather abrupt about-turn in your intentions toward her?”
“But one your words have made me realize is probably for the best.”
“For whom?”
“Lily, of course,” he stated without hesitation.
This talk with Hellsmere had cleared the clouds of lustful feelings from Gabriel’s brain somewhat, allowing him to finallysee how reckless his actions were. And how they might harm Lily if they were allowed to continue.
He had already placed her in a position of speculation by singling her out at the Landers’s ball, and then taking her to a house of the demimonde the following day. Her own subsequent visit to St. Albans House might not have gone unnoticed either, although thankfully, that could be attributed to her visiting with Chloe.
It would be the simplest thing for Gabriel to dispense with the idea of buying or renting a suitable house where the two of them might meet privately. No money had as yet changed hands. Not that it would have proved too much of a problem if it had. Gabriel would simply have instructed Jacobson to cancel the rental agreement or purchase and then deal any financial loss if it became necessary.
Unfortunately, he was already committed to going to the musical recital with Chloe and his aunt this evening—