Page 77
Story: Level With Me
“You okay?” Lila’s brows slanted.
“Sure,” I said. “Tired, that’s all. Yes, of course I’ll do the east wing with you next week. Happy to.”
“Great,” she said. She moved for the door, then paused. “Cassandra?”
“Yes?” Nerves shot through me.
“Can I ask you something?”
My stomach churned. She was going to ask me about Blake. What was I going to say?
But instead, she came around and sat in the chair in front of me. “You were close to your parents, right?”
It wasn’t anywhere near the question I’d expected. For a moment, I was too surprised to answer. Then I did. “Yes,” I said simply. “I was. Not so much anymore. I mean, my mom’s dead, obviously. And Dad is… away. But when we were younger, yes. We were very close.”
She looked like she wanted to hear more, so I continued.
“I was Dad’s little helper, with the other kids. I liked being the person he could count on when he was running around looking after us. And Mom, well, Mom was always busy with the hotel, but at night she’d come home and come to me for the rundown of how everything went. She treated me like… her source, if that makes sense. She knew Dad would gloss over the hard stuff, or the little details about what each of the kids had done that day. So we had a special relationship that way.”
Lila nodded. It seemed like she wanted to say something, but was holding back. Then she blurted out, “Did you ever have to hide anything from them? Something they’d be incredibly upset about?”
She was trying to play it cool, like this was a casual question, but I could see the way her lip did a quick quiver before she pinched it against the other.
My chest suddenly hurt. I knew what she was asking. I’d been so cavalier about the arrangement she and Blake had made, but I thought about what it would be like if I had a secret so big, and so devastating for my parents, that they’d have severed ties with me.
They wouldn’t have, I realized. I knew that in my bones. They would never have told me there was something about me that made me unlovable.
When I looked at Lila, I didn’t see the person standing between me and Blake. I saw a person trapped in her own pain, so damaged by a painful truth—the threat of losing the love of the people who were supposed to love her unconditionally. And I saw how her business with Blake was the one thing she could count on. Blake had promised he would stick with her. How could he possibly let her down?
I swallowed down the lump that was threatening to form in my throat.
He’s not yours to have.
“Can I tell you something about Blake?” I asked. “It’s related, I promise.”
Lila blinked, but recovered quickly. “Of course.”
“I’ve really appreciated getting to know him during our time together. He respects what my mom was trying to do here. I mean, at first he kept talking about high-end luxury; clean lines and marble porticos. But he’s adapted.”
“He suggested we propose a few iterations of how the hotel could look in our final report,” she said.
“Right. And you know what shifted his viewpoint?”
She twisted her hands in her lap. “We haven’t had a chance to discuss it.”
I suspected they weren’t talking about a lot of things right now. Because of me.
“It was after we had that staff lunch a couple of weeks ago.”
That meeting where our legs had met under the table and we’d both just kept still, in a tacit connection so ridiculous and so completely innocent compared to what we’d done earlier this week. But it had been special, and symbolic somehow. Like we decided to be close to each other because it felt better than moving away.
“Remember how I talked about how my parents found the hotel after that other family lost control of it?”
“I remember,” she said softly.
“I think the story really affected him. He pulled up photos of older hotels in the United Kingdom and on the east coast, and talked about how we could embrace our historical roots instead of cutting them off. I hadn’t thought I’d cared about whether the place was modern or classic; I’d just wanted the business not to fail. I’d wanted my mom to have been proud of me.”
Just like Blake had said he thought she would be at that same lunch.
“Sure,” I said. “Tired, that’s all. Yes, of course I’ll do the east wing with you next week. Happy to.”
“Great,” she said. She moved for the door, then paused. “Cassandra?”
“Yes?” Nerves shot through me.
“Can I ask you something?”
My stomach churned. She was going to ask me about Blake. What was I going to say?
But instead, she came around and sat in the chair in front of me. “You were close to your parents, right?”
It wasn’t anywhere near the question I’d expected. For a moment, I was too surprised to answer. Then I did. “Yes,” I said simply. “I was. Not so much anymore. I mean, my mom’s dead, obviously. And Dad is… away. But when we were younger, yes. We were very close.”
She looked like she wanted to hear more, so I continued.
“I was Dad’s little helper, with the other kids. I liked being the person he could count on when he was running around looking after us. And Mom, well, Mom was always busy with the hotel, but at night she’d come home and come to me for the rundown of how everything went. She treated me like… her source, if that makes sense. She knew Dad would gloss over the hard stuff, or the little details about what each of the kids had done that day. So we had a special relationship that way.”
Lila nodded. It seemed like she wanted to say something, but was holding back. Then she blurted out, “Did you ever have to hide anything from them? Something they’d be incredibly upset about?”
She was trying to play it cool, like this was a casual question, but I could see the way her lip did a quick quiver before she pinched it against the other.
My chest suddenly hurt. I knew what she was asking. I’d been so cavalier about the arrangement she and Blake had made, but I thought about what it would be like if I had a secret so big, and so devastating for my parents, that they’d have severed ties with me.
They wouldn’t have, I realized. I knew that in my bones. They would never have told me there was something about me that made me unlovable.
When I looked at Lila, I didn’t see the person standing between me and Blake. I saw a person trapped in her own pain, so damaged by a painful truth—the threat of losing the love of the people who were supposed to love her unconditionally. And I saw how her business with Blake was the one thing she could count on. Blake had promised he would stick with her. How could he possibly let her down?
I swallowed down the lump that was threatening to form in my throat.
He’s not yours to have.
“Can I tell you something about Blake?” I asked. “It’s related, I promise.”
Lila blinked, but recovered quickly. “Of course.”
“I’ve really appreciated getting to know him during our time together. He respects what my mom was trying to do here. I mean, at first he kept talking about high-end luxury; clean lines and marble porticos. But he’s adapted.”
“He suggested we propose a few iterations of how the hotel could look in our final report,” she said.
“Right. And you know what shifted his viewpoint?”
She twisted her hands in her lap. “We haven’t had a chance to discuss it.”
I suspected they weren’t talking about a lot of things right now. Because of me.
“It was after we had that staff lunch a couple of weeks ago.”
That meeting where our legs had met under the table and we’d both just kept still, in a tacit connection so ridiculous and so completely innocent compared to what we’d done earlier this week. But it had been special, and symbolic somehow. Like we decided to be close to each other because it felt better than moving away.
“Remember how I talked about how my parents found the hotel after that other family lost control of it?”
“I remember,” she said softly.
“I think the story really affected him. He pulled up photos of older hotels in the United Kingdom and on the east coast, and talked about how we could embrace our historical roots instead of cutting them off. I hadn’t thought I’d cared about whether the place was modern or classic; I’d just wanted the business not to fail. I’d wanted my mom to have been proud of me.”
Just like Blake had said he thought she would be at that same lunch.
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 105