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I’m cautious in my movements as I climb on the bed. He always wakes before me, and I’ve never done this before. After we’re done playing, I pass out from exhaustion, so I’ve never woken him.
Even the time I snuck into his hotel room the first time, he was awake and just pretending not to be.
I know I’m at risk. I know he could startle awake and hurt me, but I can’t not touch him.
His eyes slowly open when I brush his chest with my palm.
“Baby?” His voice is husky from sleep, so full of gravel. That’s all it takes to light my skin on fire.
“I need you,” I confess, and from the soft smile on his lips, I know he can tell I mean more than just sex.
My heart is racing as I straddle him. I’ve avoided all soft touches, anything that could be construed as loving, but I ache for that right now.
“You have me,” he whispers.
“I have conditions,” I say quickly before I lose the nerve.
“Of course you do.” He doesn’t say it in a way that makes me think he’s annoyed. The words are spoken with humor.
“I need you to let me do this on my own.” I roll my hips in an attempt to calm my nerves.
I need to know he’s right here with me, capable of letting me see this through.
“Take what you need, baby.”
There’s a certain thrill in what he says, but it’s also marked with apprehension. I’m not a fan of soft and sweet, and I know that has to do with meeting my own needs. Those needs more often than not have been my form of punishment. At some point in my life, the rough, painful, and hard were what I longed for, what I needed to get off, but I feel it in my bones that soft with him could bring me the same pleasure. I’m not foolish enough to think I’ll want this all the time, but sprinkling it in every once in a while could be possible.
“You keep looking at me all sweet and cute, and I’m going to come the second you slide down my cock.”
“How disappointing,” I tease as I position myself higher on my knees.
He takes the initiative to stand his cock up for me, but leaves me with the decision of when to drop back down.
I don’t see this as him relinquishing power. I know the tables could turn at any second, and the chance of that makes this all the more exciting.
We both groan with pleasure as I slide down the length of him, and that’s all it takes for my legs to stop shaking.
I focus on everything—the feel of him inside me, the pleasure, the way he watches me with such adoration, and for the first time in my life, I let it all in. There’s affection in his touch as his hands curve around my ass, and I know he isn’t doing it to try to take control but because he just can’t help himself.
He doesn’t taunt or tease me when I try to lean forward, my mouth closer to his. He doesn’t shy away despite me having bit him every fucking time he tries to kiss me. He isn’t using the opportunity to deny me what I denied him so many times.
He leans up, situating himself in a sitting position, and lets me take charge.
I lick at his lips, a swarm of butterflies in my belly with the sound he makes the second my tongue sweeps over his.
It’s a full fucking body experience, and I’m not scared. I’m not disgusted by the softness or the tender way his arms wrap around me.
We’re a mess of swiveling hips, lapping tongues, and for the first time in my life, I feel that quickening, the warning signs I’m going to orgasm without an element of pain being attached to it.
It scares me, the vulnerability I’m showing him.
“Stay with me, baby,” he begs, his hand cupping my cheek as he pulls back just to watch my face.
I nod, fighting the urge to close my eyes because I’m just too raw from it all.
When he licks his thumb, I almost don’t need the feel of him teasing my clit, and soar the second he touches it.
Tears leak down my face as I orgasm because I feel free for the first time in my life.