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He’s completely shut down, and I don’t just mean his emotions. He has eaten nothing in the last two days and has been refusing blood for just as long. He won’t even feed from me, which is unlike him.

All he does is cling to me as he stares off into space. He barely responds when anyone speaks to him—even me.

The worst part is that I’m in no place to help him through this. Unlike him, I can’t just cut off my emotions. I can’t stop losing myself in the abyss of desolation inside of me.

Most mornings, all I want to do is stay in bed and sleep. I know my other mates are worried about us, but I just can’t seem to pull myself out of this.

When I was alive, I dealt with a few bouts of depression, but I was one of the lucky ones. It was never there for long, and I could still function. This is nothing like that.

I would love nothing more than for it to stop.

Another heavy sigh leaves me when I realize Brenden isn’t going to respond.

I don’t know what else to do. If I felt up to it, I’d suck his cock and see if that would get a response out of him. Maybe I can work myself up to that.

I’m a terrible fucking mate.

“Wraith, you texted Celeste, Diana, Melody, and Warren, right?” I ask, even though he’s already assured me at least ten times that they’ll be there.

“Yes, Audrey. I texted them. They’ll be there.” Wraith apparently has endless patiencebecause not an ounce of annoyance slips into this tone.

I hum, trying to sit up, but Brenden’s hold only tightens. Giving up, I lay back down on top of him and suck his scent into my lungs. We’re laid out on the couch in the living room while Donovan, Wraith, and Cassian pour over books, looking for another way to cure rejected mate syndrome.

I know they’re not going to find anything—even if I have no idea how I know that. I wish they would just listen to me and give up.

“Do you need help getting up, little mate?”

I turn my head to find Cassian kneeling beside me. “No. I’ll stay here as long as Brenden needs me. Or until we have to go to the meeting. How much longer?”

Cassian glances at his watch and makes a face. “We should actually head out soon. Wraith, the meeting is starting in ten minutes.”

“Damn it!” Donovan hurls a book into the wall, and if I hadn’t watched it happen, I would’ve jumped at the loud thump it makes when it hits. “Why can’t we find anything?”

“Because there’s nothing to find, Donovan,” I tell him gently. “But it’s okay. For now, we need to get ready for this meeting. I don’t thinkLucifer is going to appreciate me showing up in booty shorts and a crop top.”

Cassian grins. “He might not, but I’d love to see his face if you did.”

Wraith slaps him on the back of the head before leaning over. “Brenden, can you please let Audrey up? We need to get ready for the war council meeting.”

Instead of answering, Brenden’s arms fall away and Cassian helps me off him. He leads me toward the stairs, and when I glance back, I see Wraith and Donovan helping Brenden stand as well.

Tears prickle at the back of my eyes. I hate seeing him like this.

I blink, and the tears are gone. I force my head forward to watch where I’m going so Cassian doesn’t have to do all the work for me.

When he sits me on our bed and ducks into the closet, I know he’ll pull out clothes for all of us. All I have to do is stay right here and make sure I don’t lose myself to the anguish that’s always trying to pull me down.

Pain hits me square in the chest when I see Brenden being led into the room. He doesn’t even look at me as they sit him beside me on the bed.

I have to make this right for him. I can’t live like this. I don’t want to live like this. And I certainly don’t want to lose my mate because of it.

Maybe it’s time to really consider what Lucifer said the other night.

Can I complete the bond with Nex without forgiving him? Or will it tear me apart even more?

A glance at Brenden has me steeling my resolve. It doesn’t matter if it’ll hurt me more. This is no way to live, and I want my mate back—all of my mates.

Not Nex, though.