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I lifted my hand, wanting to reach for him. After a moment of hesitation, I did. I folded my hand over his, which rested on the gear shift. He gave me a fast look before returning his eyes to the road, and I squeezed his fingers comfortingly. “That’s really frustrating. I’m sure you did all the right things.”

He squeezed my hand back, bringing it to his thigh so he could trace circles on the back of my hand with his thumb. “Logically, I know I did.”

“But you still feel responsible,” I supplied, nodding. “I think… maybe it’s okay to feel that way. Sometimes it just hurts.”

Cal gave me a gentle smile and lifted my fingers to kiss them. The sensation skittered down my arm and straight to my heart. “Sometimes it does,” he agreed softly.

“But somehow, you always seem to find the positives,” I pointed out ruefully. “I’m not sure I’m good at that yet.”

Cal inhaled slowly, still holding my hand on his thigh. “I didn’t always. My parents abandoned me when I was a teenager.”

I stared at him in silent shock. I’d known he had been adopted, but he hadn’t told me how or why. “They abandoned you?”

He nodded. “Dad was a trucker, and he’d be gone for weeks at a time at first. My memories of him are pretty spotty. Eventually, his absences got longer, and my mom withdrew from me the older I got. By the time I was thirteen, she started ducking out, too.”

My throat tightened as the horror of what Cal had enduredtook shape. I knew that feeling. I knew what it felt like to realize your own parents cared more about their own pain than your suffering. “Cal,” I whispered tightly.

“Eventually, she didn’t come back.” Cal let out a breath, glancing at me briefly. “You know how that feels, I’ve gathered.”

I nodded mutely.

“I did my best on my own at first.” I heard the bitterness in his voice, even now. “I ate eggs mostly, and bread if I could afford it with my job as an under-the-table dishwasher at a local pizza place. When I started high school, I had free meals at school, and I forged documents from my parents who weren’t there. Football was the only joy I had that first year on my own. I couldn’t let it go, so I hid my starvation under the guise of keeping fit.”

Tears clogged my throat, and I swallowed them down with some effort. “That’s horrible.”

Cal’s resignation was evident even in the muted light. “I made it work. But eventually, the lack of food and the absence of parental authorities became obvious. Namely, because I got behind on rent and utilities, and then when I did my best to make them up with my puny salary, I ran out of food. CPS got involved, and that’s when I met my parents.”

I couldn’t help but send up a silent prayer of thanks to the universe on Cal’s behalf. What would have happened if Terrence and Jayla hadn’t been the ones who had found him and loved him?

“At first, I didn’t feel worthy of it,” Cal went on, his voice lowand soothing in the quiet interior of the car. “I mean, my own parents hadn’t thought I was worth sticking around for. Why should this perfect, loving, incredible couple care about me?”

I winced as his words echoed the poison I carried in my own heart. Cal gave me a knowing look like he understood what he was doing to me. “It’s hard to accept love if you feel unworthy of it.”

I scrunched one side of my face. “Point taken.”

“I worked harder than the other kids in my grade,” Cal added. “I studied harder, played harder, excelled faster. I nearly killed myself proving that I was worthy of their home and their love. It wasn’t until later that I realized their love wasn’t conditional. That necklace my mom wears?”

I nodded. “I remember it. A heart locket, right?”

“Yeah. I got that for her after I graduated high school and started my pre-med program. I got it after I failed my first test. It wasn’t until I had failed that I saw for myself that love isn’t earned. It just… is.”

A tear slipped from the corner of my eye, and I swiped it away. “You’re really lucky.”

He pulled into a parking spot in my apartment complex and put the car into park, before turning his attention to me. “I know what it feels like to think you’re unworthy of being loved. But Ruth, nothing could be further from the truth. You are extraordinary.”

Tears dammed up my voice, and I looked forward uncomfortably. “You don’t have to… Cal. I’m fine.”

Cal gently guided my chin back to face him. “Stop pretending it doesn’t hurt.”

I gusted out a sound that was somewhere between a sob and a laugh. Forcing the tears back down, I said thickly, “Stop poking at it.”

“No,” he smiled faintly. “I think you’re beautiful. I’ve thought it since that moment I went to the bar to ream you out and realized there was no way I could go through with it. Not after I saw how intelligent and funny you were, how vulnerable and strong, and definitely,” he added with a leveling gaze, “worth every happiness in this life.” I tucked my lip between my teeth. His thumb tugged on my chin and popped it back out. “Stop hurting what’s mine.”

Desire and belonging mingled in a heady mix, swooping through me and stealing my breath. “Yours, huh?”

Cal leaned forward and kissed me softly. Rubbing his lips across mine with a teasing tickle, he whispered, “Sometimes it just hurts. But sometimes we can make it better, too.”

“What are you?” I whispered with a hint of incredulity.