Page 30

You won’t, I thought with a little pang of sadness. I’d gotten so caught up in getting to know Jayla and Terrence, I’d almost forgotten that none of this was real. I couldn’t help but feel that Cal was wonderfully lucky to have been adopted by them. And the obvious fierceness with which he loved them back told me he knew that.

The rideshare came remarkably fast, and after another round of goodbyes, I clambered into a small eco-friendly car with Cal.He had to fold his long legs up in the back seat, and I took a mental snapshot of Cal scrunched up in the back seat like a giant in a tiny house. Cal gave the driver the address of the hotel, and then he sat back, poking his forehead with his pointer finger. “Is’been years since I got drunk.”

I flashed my teeth, leaning against the car door with a measure of some satisfaction. “Well, we all get stressed and make random choices now and then,” I quoted back to him.

Cal peeked one eye open and rolled his head my way. “I’m just drunk enough to make you pay for that.”

A trill of anticipation fluttered through me like a flute aria. “Is that right?”

“Mm.” He nodded, closing his eyes again. “Just give me fifteen minutes to get not inebriated.”

“Of course,” I agreed sarcastically. “That’s how that works.”

My phone buzzed again, and rather than ignoring it, I pulled it out of my pocket with a dose of trepidation. Sure enough, it was the text I feared it was. Vaughn had texted me earlier today, but his most recent messages were butted up against the texts from November still. The evidence of his betrayal sat neatly on top the insanity of his decision to text me today.

Ruth:

I just got home. Saw your note. I’m confused. Could you callme?

Vaughn:

About to board for Italy. Sorry. You got this, kid.

Ruth:

What? That’s it?? Why is the door locked?

Ruth:

Vaughn?

Ruth:

You can’t be serious.

Ruth:

Fuck. You.

Vaughn:

Hey gorg. Back in the states. Heard u were in Eugene. Up for a chat?

Vaughn:

Just landed in Portland. You free tomorrow?

I inhaled slowly through my nose as my stomach swirled uncomfortably. I knew Vaughn was self-absorbed, and I knew he had more confidence than he deserved, but I hadn’t realized he was straight-up delusional.

Ruth:

My last msg stands.

I blew out another breath, trying to steady my nerves, but the damage had been done. That slithering, insidious fear, and thesickening rush of adrenaline, hurt, and fury washed over me like a haunting specter. It caused me to shiver and draw in on myself. I didn’t know what Vaughn wanted, but I knew it wasn’t me. Not really. Because there was a reason he hadn’t wanted me to begin with. It was the same reason this date with Cal was fake. It was the same reason I kept to myself and wrapped myself in the safety of that acceptance. I wasn’t lovable. I wasn’t fun or desirable—I was just easy to use.

We both went quiet as the car drove slowly past warm, gold-lit bars and cozy, mom-and-pop shops, and then we headed a little out of the city proper to a building that had been nestled into the cliffs. It overlooked the Pacific Ocean with a long, thin structure made to ensure every room got an ocean view. The ride pulled up to the hotel, and Cal thanked the driver before getting out and coming around to my side.

He looked put together again, with his pressed, black T-shirt pulling deliciously against his broad chest and his green eyes sparking with humor. He held out a hand to help me out of the car. “Ready for that payback?”