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For a long while, there was nothing but Revna’s humming. A soft melody that tickled the back of Bryn’s memory. The sound lulled her into a semi-conscious state, the long fingers belonging to her lover scrubbing her scalp and soothing her in a way no one else could.

“Brynna,” Revna said softly. “Please tell me what happened tonight with the assassin.”

Bryn opened her eyes and looked at the ceiling while Revna poured water over her head.

“I didn’t want to do it,” Bryn whispered, broken. “But I saw no other option. He would have been killed anyway.”

She hadn’t seen another path for Sven. If their plan was to be successful, this man couldn’t survive. Had this soldier gone to the King or the General, they would’ve slaughtered him to keep him quiet. In the limited time they had, Bryn could not find a way to get him out of the palace to save his life. Even if she had, these assassins were loyal to a fault, and he would have never stayed away for long.

He had to die. And his death chipped away another big part of Bryn’s soul.

“I wish you had told me,” Revna said quietly.

“You would have stopped me,” Bryn responded, trying to stand by her decision and failing.

“Maybe you needed to be stopped.”

“I needed to keep you and Maude safe,” Bryn said, voice small.

“You don’t have to destroy yourself to keep us safe, my love.”

Bryn had no response to that. When Revna had finished rinsing her hair, Bryn stood from the ice-cold water and wrapped her robe around herself, keeping her back to Revna. The flame that burned within her normally warmed her up quickly enough, but the disgust she had for herself kept her flames at bay.

She needed to feel the cold that spread through her.

Bryn walked toward the previously full decanter on the bar in her room and poured another two finger widths of liquor into a clean glass. Before Revna could stop her, she downed the entire glass, feeling the heat of the liquid burn all the way into the pit of her empty stomach before it spread to her limbs and numbed every muscle in its burning wake. Revna removed the glass from her hand and placed it on the tabletop.

“You’ve had enough,” Revna said with a gentleness that Bryn did not deserve.

Revna guided her to the bed, sitting her down on the edge as she towel-dried Bryn’s hair. Bryn spied theperthrorune on her wrist again.

“Are you a seer?” Bryn asked, her head becoming fuzzy again.

Revna stiffened for a moment but continued with her task. “I could have been.”

“And now?”

“No, not anymore. The gods bless me with visions from time to time, but I don’t have the training to interpret them,” Revna sighed and sat next to Bryn. “I joined the army instead of finishing my training as a seer.”

Bryn, unable to keep herself upright any longer, lay back on her bed.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“For what?” Revna asked, positioning Bryn under the covers of her bed.

“For what my family has done to you.” Bryn turned over, looking at Revna solemnly. “For what my love has done to you.”

Bryn closed her eyes before she could see Revna’s reaction, falling into a deep sleep. Before she slipped into total oblivion, Bryn felt Revna settle behind her and pull Bryn into her soft body. Bryn could have sworn she heard her speak to her again but could not remember what it was later.

“I love you too.”

Bryn woke hours later, the moon still high in the sky, with Revna wrapped around her naked body. The memories from last night were hazy, but she remembered Revna getting her cleaned up before getting her into bed. Bryn turned over in Revna’s arms to face her lover.

Asleep, Revna’s face was relaxed and innocent. Bryn thought she had never seen anyone so beautiful before. Running a soft touch over Revna’s features, Bryn took in this solitary moment of quiet to observe the woman she loved. Fear always kept her from telling Revna the truth about what she felt— that she valued their relationship beyond the sex and how Revna brought peace to her mind when nothing and no one else could.

Bryn observed the strong and delicate features that made Revna who she was: the harsh lines of her jaw that contrasted with her high cheekbones, her pointed nose, and her soft russet skin that seemed to glow in the lingering candlelight. Revna’s hair was loose behind her, the shining black hair splayed out like a crown behind her.

In another life, Bryn would have made Revna her wife. In another life, she would have run away with her the moment she knew that Revna would be the only real love in her heart. But Bryn had not been dealt that life by the gods.