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It took several long moments, the sort of slowed-down time which passed as seconds on the outside but eons on the inside.
An inside which was nowallof him.
The past and the present.
The good and the bad.
The demon and the dad.
He reveled in the sensation for as long as he could. But he knew it would not last, and he exhaled slowly as that surge of positivity subsided, his wholeness settling back into the equilibrium that was the real Rhett Rodgers.
Too much past to overcome the present.
Too much bad to be anywhere close to good.
Too much demon to ever be a dad.
And slowly Rhett felt the newfound spring of love harden to the familiar crust of hatred, the fresh flood of humility evaporate from the scorching heat of ambition.
An ambition that was his to seize.
Rhett smiled now as he saw everything fall into place in his spinning mind. That fleeting glimpse of positive emotion had completed the puzzle, closed the loop, squared the circle. It was just enough light for him to see the vastness of his darkness, recommit to it because hewasit, had always been it, would always be it.
That was his role in this cosmic drama, and it was beautiful.
Yes, it was beautiful, Rhett thought as he saw it all in a grand sweeping vision of choice and coincidence, circumstance and serendipity, every decision leading to this destiny, every failure leading to this fate.
Yes, he saw it.
He sawhow the great game worked.
A game Rhett was suddenly certain was his to win.
After all, Benson hadn’t been bluffing about pulling that trigger. The old coyote had truly been played out, was down to his last option, about to walk down a very dark path—a path that surely even a battle-hardened spook like Benson would rather not go down if there was a way out.
So let’s give him a way out, Rhett decided.
Now Rhett sensed that the energy in the room had changed. Perhaps it was only in his mind, but that momentary flood of positivity seemed to have affected them all.
Which meant it was time to strike.
Not by raising his serpent-hood but by lowering his head in submission.
Benson might just be vulnerable enough to let Rhett take Kaiser’s deal.
At least for long enough to get them all out of this house alive.
Get Benson and Kaiser into that death-trap of a car.
So Rhett turned to Benson now, gazed at the coyote and flashed a wolfish smile. “All right, John, you can shoot me in cold blood in front of everyone,” he said, holding his arms out in surrender. “Or you can let me take Kaiser's deal. Yes, I’ll take Kaiser’s deal now. I know you're ready to pull the trigger, so I'll bend the knee and stand down. Everything from our shared past is out in the open. None of us are clean, so we can all be certain none of this gets to Robinson. And despite that gun in your hand and that crazy look in your eye, nobody’s passed the point of no return yet. So I’ll take Kaiser’s deal and stand down. Resign from the CIA. Fade away into the shadows.”
Rhett held the smile, held the pose, held on to that feeling of being plugged into the flow of events, synchronized with the spin of space, floating on the tides of time. He understood now that the secret of control was to let go, to let it play out as each player made their choices.
Had Diego chosen to show up tonight, Rhett wondered as he watched Benson’s silver eyes narrow like the old coyote was considering his own next move, deciding whether to pull the trigger or take the bait, blow Rhett’s brains out or stand back and wait.
Rhett waited for Benson to respond, knowing that if Diego had come through, the game-board was lined up just right. Kaiser and Benson would be dead in minutes, and Rhett would be the last man standing.
Except there might be another man standing in the way, Rhett suddenly realized when Ice Wagner took a step forward, his green eyes narrowed to slits.