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Indy frowned as those cages came into clearer focus. There were furry beasts stirring behind the square chain-link windows of their roomy carrier-cages. She smiled as one of the creatures raised its head and pricked up its ears. “Wait, why are there so many dogs on this flight?”
“You tell me. You led us here.” Ice lay back down, his face nestled against the side of her neck, arms holding her close. He chuckled into her neck. His breath tickled. “It’s just six dogs. Five hundred passengers. The math seems reasonable.”
Indy smiled at the lazy-eyed dog, which appeared to be a Labrador-Collie mix. “Glad at least one of us can do math right now. How long was I passed out?”
Ice hesitated. “You weren’t.” He stiffened briefly. “You don’t remember anything about how we got here from the hotel?”
Indy scrunched up her face. It hurt, just like her body hurt. Every muscle ached, she realized. The sort of aching that came after intensely draining physical activity, like that first week of CIA training at the Farm, or that awful half-marathon she’d signed up for in college, had run without training, ending up with jelly-spaghetti legs the rest of the week.
“I remember the hotel room,” she said softly, closing her eyes, then opening them quickly because the memory of her mother was less vivid when her eyes were open. “I rememberleavingthe hotel room. We drank tea. We found a car. And then . . .” Her eyelids snapped open. “Ohmygod, we were . . . we were kissing. We were in the car, in the backseat, kissing and . . . and then you stopped. Again. Playing your annoying game of dominance—or at least what you seem to think is dominance.”
Ice groaned. “Was hoping you’d forgotten that part.”
Indy shook her aching head. “Nope. Add it to the list of traumatic memories. Thanks, Ice.”
Ice chuckled against her neck. He was silent a long moment. “Do you remember anything after that?” His voice was strained, his body stiffening again.
Indy’s temples throbbed violently. Her body shuddered involuntarily, those aching muscles spasming as that dark background threatened to overwhelm her inner landscape once again.
“Yes,” she managed to say. “That photograph . . . it . . . it did something to me, Ice. Triggered something, but not a memory. Not one that I could see, at least. It’s almost like my body remembers but my brain doesn’t. Something like that.”
Ice nodded against her, his arms drawing her closer. He sighed out a breath. “There’s some pseudoscientific theory about how memories can be stored in cells and tissues of the body, not just the brain. Especially trauma from that early in life.” He kissed her neck gently. “But you scared the crap out of me, Indy. Thought I’d lost you.”
You still might lose me, came the dreadful thought from somewhere inside her.
Indy tried to smile, but that dark nameless thing was creeping over her again, forcing her lips into a tight grimace. She gulped back the thickness that was starting to constrict her throat again, blinked desperately to bring back the soothing view of those peacefully dozing dogs.
But her vision was going dark alarmingly fast, the real world fading out as that suffocating shroud began to blanket her again. Her body began to spasm, her calf-muscles locking painfully, her fingers curling into claws, her head pounding like ten thousand hammers trying to break out through her skull, her gut wrenching like coiling snakes, throat retching like those snakes were trying to all slither out at once, jamming the exits, blocking the pathways, no escape, not now, not ever.
And suddenly Indy’s body shuddered violently, her teeth chattering, vision blurring as her head slammed back against Ice.
“Oh, shit, Indy. Hold on. I’ve got you.” Ice grabbed her tight from behind as her body started to thrash. She felt him cushion her head against his chest, cup her chin gently but firmly. Her mouth opened and closed rapidly, drool pouring out the sides of her lips.
Now she felt Ice slide his fingers between her teeth so she wouldn’t bite her tongue off. Indy wasn’t sure if she was having a seizure or if she was dying, but it felt like both those things happening at once. Her teeth cut viciously into Ice’s fingers but he didn’t flinch, didn’t loosen his secure grip on her body, held her safe against him until she thrashed her way through whatever was happening.
Then Indy was dry-heaving, sitting up and hunching forward, Ice holding her hair back from her face, steadying her wrenching retching body as it tried to expel its psychic poison. She gagged and spat, taking gasping breaths as the sickness finally settled enough that she sat back heavily, landing in Ice’s lap, collapsing in relief against the backrest of his hard body.
Ice held her close, placing his palm flat against her clammy forehead. With his other hand he raised a bottle of water to her lips. “Small sips. There we go. Good.”
Indy swallowed the cool water, closing her eyes and sighing out a breath. “Did I just have a fucking seizure?” she whispered hoarsely, panic coursing through her racked body. “That’s not good, Ice. I’ve never had one before.”
Ice was silent as he raised the bottle to her lips again. His palm stayed flat on her forehead, then slowly eased off her sweaty skin. “You aren’t running a fever. Your pulse is slightly elevated but not dangerously high.” He paused, waited for her to take another sip. “And you definitely didn’t hit your head on anything, didn’t injure the base of your spine.” He took a slow breath. “But yeah, it was some kind of seizure. We’ll get you to a hospital the moment we land. The LSD will have worn off by then. You’re going to be all right, Indy. I promise.”
She nodded, leaning against him as the cool water eased some of the muscle-spasms. She took several more sips, then nodded again when Ice’s hands unwrapped the shiny packaging of a fruit-and-nut energy bar in front of her reclining body.
“I got it,” she said, trying to reach out and take the snack-bar. But she couldn’t even raise her arms off the padded floor. She was limp like a rag-doll, drained like a dishwasher. But it was a strange sort of exhaustion, not entirely from dehydration or hunger. Still, that energy bar looked damn good. She opened wide as Ice brought it to her mouth. “Bet you didn’t expect to become a caregiver for a drooling rag-doll on this mission,” she joked half-heartedly through granola-filled bites that were strawberry-sweet and cashew-crunchy.
Ice grunted as he popped the rest of the energy snack into her hungry-hippo snapping jaws. “I’ve done plenty of caregiving. This is nothing.”
Indy swallowed the last of her snack, then leaned her head back and gazed up at the low metal ceiling. “Your parents. You and Jack cared for them at home during the end. You told me everything. I remember.”
Ice grunted again. “Was hoping you’d forgotten that part too. Wish I’d forgotten it myself.”
Indy slid down against his body, leaned her head all the way back so she could see his face. “No, you don’t,” she said softly. “You went back home to care for them even though you were still angry about the Thanksgiving incident. You didn’t forgive them, but you cared for them anyway. That’s an act of love. Unconditional love. The sort of love that couldn’t be overshadowed even by your anger.”
Ice flinched but said nothing. Indy was nestled in his lap now, the food and drink relaxing her spasming muscles but not yet easing the dull throbbing aches that Indy now realized emanated not from the muscles themselves but from specific points in her body.
The placement of those pain-points reminded her of something from years ago, when she’d taken a yoga class and made a short-lived attempt to understand the theory behind that ancient Indian system of yogic meditation, the spiritual science of physical movement.