Page 101

When he heard Marty crying, he just waited. As crazy as it seemed, this was the reaction he wanted. Marty could wall herself off and pretend she was a big girl, but deep down she was not that big girl.
“I want him too,” Derrick said, tears leaking out of his eyes as he soothed her.
Marty continued to sniffle and cry. “I have no one now,” she sobbed into the phone.
“What do you mean, Marty?” Derrick asked, having flashbacks of his proclamation of the same thing to Taylor last night.
“I am alone, Derrick,” she said with irritation. “You moved out, and, God, now you’re married, and it’s just me.”
“Marty, do you hear yourself?” Derrick asked her. He really wanted to be the sympathetic and strong big brother, but it wasn’t working out. “You sound ridiculous.”
“No, Derrick, I sound real,” Marty said defensively.
“No, you sound ridiculous,” Derrick said sternly. “You think I would leave you, just go and get married and that’s it? You are my sister, Marty. Just what kind of an asshole do you think I am?”
There was silence, and Derrick wondered if he had overstepped the line.
“I love you, Marty. You’re my family. You’re Taylor’s family. We will always have each other,” Derrick affirmed to her, but still there was silence. “Look, I’m coming over—”
“No, no,” Marty finally chimed in, her voice hoarse from more crying. “I want you to be with Taylor. I am not ready to see you yet. I need more rest, and Nan just came in to literally spoon-feed me.”
Derrick smiled. They could always count on Nan. “I want to see you, Marty.”
“Really, Derrick, I haven’t slept much. I was all nerved up. I’m going to eat, make sure it will stay down, and then sleep. I feel worn out—physically, emotionally.”
Derrick nodded; he got that. “Dinner. We will all do dinner as a family, at the house.”
“Yeah, let’s do that. I love you, big brother.”
“I love you, brat,” Derrick replied.
* * *
Taylor watchedDerrick leave and then gave a sideways glance to the spot on the bed. So that was it. She had really done it. She had gotten married, lost a loved one, and lost her virginity all in one night.
She always had been good at multitasking.
Taylor tried to tune in and figure out how she felt about the whole thing, but pinning down an emotion was hard. She was happy that Simon wasn’t suffering but devastated by his death. She was angry that his children were now parentless like she was but so grateful that they had each other to get through this together. Those emotions were easy to figure out, but when it came to really thinking how she felt about being married, her mind swirled like a tornado.
All the deep reflection was giving her a headache. Taylor pushed the thoughts aside and made her way to the bathroom, completely ready for a nice hot shower. She wanted to wash away all the bad she had gone through and get out fresh and clean, ready to start anew. Now she could sign company paperwork, now she could make all the plans a reality, now she was someone’s wife. No, now she was Derrick’s wife. With one passing thought the crazy seesaw of emotions returned, and it was enough to give her motion sickness.
Taylor closed her eyes and focused on clearing her mind, which was always stupid because it just made her think more. Instead she fixed her thoughts on her shower: how it felt as the warm water filled and saturated her hair. It worked, and slowly she lost herself in the consistent sound of the shower. She timed her breathing to it and felt some of the tension ease, but deep down Taylor was fairly certain it would never be completely gone.
A hand on her back scared her out of her concentrated calm and back to the present time. Before she could turn, she was pulled back into a wall of flesh. “Miss me?” Derrick asked her.
Taylor leaned her head back, “And you are?”
“Your husband,” he reminded her.
Taylor swallowedthatpill down again, hard.
Derrick turned her to face him. “I love you,” he said, looking into her eyes.
Every time he said it anxiety bloomed in Taylor’s chest. She couldn’t say it back. Well, she could, but it wouldn’t mean what he wanted it to. Yes, she was insanely attracted to Derrick, but she wasn’t sure her feelings for him were anything more than lust and the love of a friend. Taylor shifted and tried to look away, but Derrick forced her face back up. “Get used to hearing that because I am going to tell you at every available opportunity.”
Taylor reached up and pulled Derrick down to her because it was the surest way to shut him up. It worked like a charm. Kissing Derrick was something that Taylor felt certain about: it was fabulous. And last night the kissing and the touching and, well, everything had been mind blowing, and it was something her body was happy to repeat. And it was the only thing that Taylor didn’t have uncertain thoughts about. It was nice to be sure of something between them, even if it was only their sexual chemistry.Beggars can’t be choosers. She would run with what she had.
Derrick’s hands slid up from her waist. Taylor fidgeted impatiently to feel them on her more sensitive locations, willing him wordlessly to move his fingers up or down. She was rewarded with him palming one breast, sliding his hand over it, caressing her nipple here and there with his fingers. The water made him move slickly, and the sensation sent shivers through Taylor.