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Gerard grins, not even the least bit offended. “Nah, I picked this bad boy out myself.”

I roll my eyes. “Why are you here, Gerard? Shouldn’t you be at the banquet hall downtown?”

Gerard’s face lights up like a Christmas tree. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about! I left early because I couldn’t wait any longer.”

“Couldn’t wait for what?” I ask, even though I have a sinking feeling I know exactly where this is going.

He takes a deep breath, his cheeks flushing pink to match his hideous suit. “Elliot Montgomery, will you go out on a date with me? Like, a proper date. Dinner, a movie, the whole shebang.”

I stare at him, my mouth slightly agape.Is he serious?I know I’ve been jerking him off for a couple of weeks, but a date? That’s a whole different ballgame.

Gerard must sense my hesitation because he turns his attention to Sarah. “Hey, help me out here. You know how Elliot feels about me, right?”

I scoff and cross my arms over my chest. “What makes you think Sarah knows anything about my feelings for you?”

Gerard rolls his eyes. “Oh, come on, Elliot. You’re gay, and Sarah’s a girl. I’d bet my hockey stick that you’ve told her everything about us. Including how much you love my nearly nine-inch cock.”

My jaw drops open, and I feel the heat rush to my cheeks. I sputter, trying to form a coherent response, but my brain has short-circuited.

“I have never, ever told Sarah that,” I finally manage to choke out, albeit sounding like Mickey Mouse.

Gerard’s eyes widen as he realizes his mistake. A deep crimson blush spreads across his chiseled cheekbones, making him look sheepish and even more adorable.

Sarah, meanwhile, grins like the Cheshire Cat. Hereyes flick down to Gerard’s crotch, then back up to his face. “Nearly nine inches, huh? Impressive.”

Gerard clears his throat, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot. “I, uh…I shouldn’t have assumed. My bad.”

I bury my face in my hands, wishing the ground would open up and swallow me whole. This is not how I imagined this conversation going. At all.

“Look, Gerard,” I sigh, peeking at him through my fingers. “I appreciate the invitation, but I’m not sure a date is the best idea right now. We’ve got a good thing going, you know? Why complicate it?”

Gerard’s shoulders slump, and for a moment, he looks like a kicked puppy. But then he straightens up, a determined glint in his eye. “Because I want more than just a good thing, Elliot. I want a great thing. Anamazingthing. I want to take you out, show you off, and make you feel special. Is that so wrong?”

My heart flips in my chest. Damn him and his sincerity. It’s like trying to resist a golden retriever who wants to cuddle and play fetch.

Sarah leans forward and places her elbows on the desk. “Elliot, if you don’t say yes to this date, I will never forgive you.AndI will tell the entire campus about Gerard’s massive dong.”

Gerard perks up, his eyes hopeful. “I promise I’ll be a perfect gentleman. I’ll even wear anormalsuit.”

I sigh, rubbing my temples as a headache forms. “Fine. One date. But don’t get your hopes up, Gunnarson. I’m not making any promises.”

Gerard flashes a smile so bright it could power the entire library. “Yes! You won’t regret this, Elliot. I’ll make it the best date ever.”

He does a little victory dance, his massive frame jiggling in all the wrong—right—places. Sarah snickers as I bury my face in my hands again.What have I gotten myself into?

Now that that’s all settled,”—Sarah turns her wicked grin onGerard—“care to play a round of chess and tell me more about your massive dong?”

Gerard’s blush deepens to an almost alarming shade of red, and he stammers something unintelligible. Sarah cackles, clearly enjoying every second of his discomfort.

He glances at me, pleading, but I do nothing but shrug. It’s not like I can save him from Sarah’s relentless teasing even if I wanted to. And honestly, after the bomb he dropped, I think he deserves a little squirming.

Sarah pulls up another seat. “Come on, big guy. I’m dying to hear all the juicy details while you crush me like you crushed our game.”

Gerard hesitates, glancing between me and the door as if he’s calculating his chances of escape. With a resigned sigh, he unbuttons his gaudy jacket and sinks into the chair.

“I was joking about the dong talk,” Sarah says as she sets the pieces in their starting positions with swift, practiced motions. “Mostly.”

I should walk away and get back to work since this is clearly going to take a while, but something keeps me rooted in place.