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Dropping my head back, I couldn’t help feeling like there was more wrong than I knew.

Chapter Four

Changes

“Maybe a penis tattoo would’ve been a better idea.”

Looking around the packed club, I was relieved no one heard me talking to myself.

Or, if they had, they were pretending they hadn't.

As much as I wished I was sitting at home in my yoga pants, watching mindless TV and eating Chinese food delivery straight from the carton, I knew I needed a change of scenery.

I was in a rut. And not a minor one.

Ray must’ve known, too, since she’d threatened me with an obscene face tattoo if I didn’t come out.

For almost two weeks straight, I’d been swamped with school and cakes. I’d also started pouring over my financial books. The bank had been in contact quickly to tell me that my loan had been denied. I’d researched everything in hopes that there was an obvious cause but I hadn’t found any.

It was easy to not dwell on Jake ending things when I barely had time to think.

Can you end something that never even began?

Well, I didn’t dwelltoomuch, at least.

When I’d gotten home that night, I was mentally drained and physically exhausted. Even still, I’d forced myself into the shower to wash away the smell of him. Skipping all of my usual nighttime routines, I’d collapsed into bed though sleep was hard to find. My mind wouldn’t settle as it replayed the night, once again filling in all of the things I should have said.

I’d wondered if he would try to clear the air again.

He hadn’t.

I wasn’t sure how the situation with Jake was going to affect things with the other guys. I’d hoped it wouldn’t, but knowing he was their boss, I’d understood if they didn’t want any weirdness.

That didn’t mean I’d like it.

My worry was for nothing. The guys texted and acted like nothing was different.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t say I did the same.

*******

The day after my epic crash and burn with Jake, Kase texted to invite me out with them. I was so swamped, I couldn’t have gone even if I wanted to.

For over a week, every time one of the guys invited me out, I used my schedule as a crutch. I was busy, definitely. But I could’ve found time if I tried hard enough.

After flopping on the bed one night, too exhausted to even pull the blanket up, I couldn’t fall asleep. Instead, I found myself wondering what the guys were up to. I hadn’t wanted everything with Jake to change things between me and them, but it had.

And I was the one responsible for the change.

Waking with the sun the next morning, I began baking a giant batch of donuts in three different flavors. I texted Kase when it reached a suitable time and asked him to come pick them up to take to work.

“Hey, these were on your porch,” he blurted out quickly as he handed me a giant vase of Stargazer Lilies.

I looked around for a card, but there was none. It wasn’t uncommon for me to get flowers from clients but I liked to know who sent them. Knowing that something I did made someone happy and that they appreciated it was a thrill that never lessened.

I took the flowers before handing him two big containers of donuts with instructions to freeze them at the shop. I also gave him a box to be eaten right away.

Since Kase seemed perpetually cheerful, I was surprised when he leaned against the open door frame and his expression turned serious.