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lingered a dozen feet back and watched as Daddy

knelt down beside Grandad and shook him. Then he

put his fingers on Grandad's neck and searched for a

pulse. After a moment he lowered his head. "Daddy?"

He lifted his head and looked at me. "What's

wrong with him?"

Daddy shook his head.

"Go back to the house. Honey, and tell Mommy

your grandad's gone. He's found his peace."

11 Heart Song

Grandad Forman's funeral wasn't a big one. Most of the friends and acquaintances he had were either dead or too sick and weak to attend. Chandler's father attended, and Chandler accompanied him. His mother didn't. There were a few other business people there and some friends of Daddy's and Mommy's. I didn't think Uncle Simon would want to go, but he surprised me.

He also surprised Mommy and Daddy by agreeing to go see a doctor. Dr. Spalding put him on an antibiotic that had an almost immediate effect. His fever diminished and, although his cough lingered, it was far less severe, so he would have no problem attending the services. He had only one set of nice clothes. Mommy pressed his jacket and pants and Daddy found him a black tie to wear and tied it for him. Mommy even shined and polished Uncle Simon's one and only pair of dress shoes.

It was a simple church service, but it was Daddy's idea that I add to it by playing my violin. As I played. I tried to remember only the good things about Grandad: the pride he took in his work and the success of the farm, his physical strength at his age, and the rare but precious moments when he looked softer, gazing almost lovingly at me.

I saw how proud and happy it made Mommy as I played, and when I looked at Chandler. I saw a glow in his face that warmed my cold, dark heart. I smiled inside and eagerly greeted him at the end of the service

"I'm sorry I haven't called you," he told me. "I thought first that I might have had something to do with all this,"

"You didn't and neither did I, Chandler." "When are you coming back to school?" "Tomorrow," I said, and then hurried to join

Mommy, Daddy. and Uncle Simon for our trip to the cemetery. Grandad's first wife Tess was buried beside her first husband. Grandad was to be laid beside my grandmother Jennie.

"I'm not so sure she's happy about that," Mommy whispered.

We smiled secretly through our eves, and we held hands while the final words were spoken over the coffin and Grandad was lowered into the earth from which he had made his living and did love. No one was more willing to become dust unto dust, I thought.

I joined Uncle Simon, who had gone to visit his mother's grave. He was just standing there, staring at the tombstone as if he could see her face in the granite. I knew that from time to time Daddy drove him here to plant flowers.

"She died before I could hear her speak. I don't remember her at all," he said mournfully.

"She's inside you, Uncle Simon. You carry her in your heart."

He nodded and took my hand. We stood there for a moment longer and then joined the others.

The four of us drove back to the farm in relative silence, all of us reliving our own memories and dealing in our own way with the reality that death to someone close to us brings.

I was so happy to return to school the following day. I couldn't get enough homework or be bored in any class. I bathed in the noise and the chatter in the hallways and cafeteria. I even welcomed the envy and green eyes of some of my classmates when they saw how closely Chandler and I kept to each other. Anyone could see there was something special going on by the way our eyes lingered on each other's faces.

My lessons with Mr. Wengrow became more intense. He was very pleased with the music Chandler had bought for me and agreed with the choices for my audition. I practiced obsessively. I looked forward to our joint lessons and I saw how Chandler made Mr. Wengrow concentrate far more on me than on him.

Almost nightly now I would play for Uncle Simon. Mommy. and Daddy in the living room. The music that had once been kept closed in to avoid Grandad's criticism and dire predictions of evil was set free, flowing through the house and over the grounds. As the weather improved and evenings became warmer. I would play outside at night. I would even bring my violin along and play while Daddy and Uncle Simon worked in the fields sometimes. My instrument and I were inseparable. Extra help was hired and they all looked at me and listened with amazement, hearing this kind of music while they worked.

"I wouldn't be surprised if she's sleeping with that violin beside her." Daddy kidded.

"It's not too far from me at any time," I said.

Chandler and I went out both Friday and Saturday nights now, and there were weekends when he visited with us and watched television and then took walks with me. We sat at the pond often. He claimed the water was warming and he could stand dipping his feet in as long as I could.