Page 45

your father and my grandfather. He's just horrible. I

hate him!" I shouted and ran up the steps, past Daddy

and into the house, not looking back.

Inside. I burst into tears.

"Honey!" Mommy shouted after me as I

charged up the stairs "Why are you barefoot? What's

wrong?"

"Grandad!" I cried. "I wish he was dead!" Such was the mad old man's influence and

effect on me all my life that I immediately regretted

saving such a thing. I bit down on my lip so hard. I

could taste the blood. If God was nearby, waiting to

swoop down on me for being an evil person. He

would surely do so now, I thought.

Shivering and wishing I could crawl inside

myself and hide. I threw myself on my bed, embraced

myself, and closed my eyes, waiting for the sound of

thunder even on a day like this.

All that followed was silence and the slow

ticking down of my racing heart until I drifted into a

welcome sleep.

10 Sins of the Father

When I awoke, I was greeted with a funereal silence. Mommy had let me sleep and it was well into the early evening. Through my window I could see the last vestiges of daylight were clinging to the horizon like the hands of a drowning person hoping to be pulled back up. The yellow shafts of thin light against the inky sky resembled fingers, reaching, searching for help.

I sat up, scrubbed my face with my dry hands and sighed so deeply, I thought I would crack my spine. I listened again for any sounds. but I didn't even hear the drone of the television set or anyone's footsteps or muffled voice. For an additional few moments I sat there, resurrecting the terrible moments at the pond. I saw Chandler's expression of terror and shock again and again. Surely, he would not want to have a thing to do with me now. He must believe I came from madness.

I rose and went downstairs slowly, still listening for someone. I found Mommy sitting on the front porch in her rocking chair. She had a knitted shawl wrapped around herself and her eyes were closed.

"Mommy?" I said, and she sat up.

"How are you. Honey? Huney?"

"No. What's going on? Where's Daddy and

G randad?"

"Daddy and Grandad had a very bad argument

after what happened," she began. "I thought they