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“I’m afraid so. Look, if you don’t want to do this …”

I start to get up, but Ray pushes me back down.

“No. We’re doing this, and we’re doing it right now.”

He goes to the apothecary cabinet and pulls a few things from what, to me, looks like nothing more than a wall of little doors.

I point to it.

“How do you know what goes where?”

“I’ve been working with this cabinet since I was five. I know every drawer, every door, every inch of it.”

Ray comes over to the table with a collection of herbs and some small bottles about the size of shot glasses. He looks at me again and takes a breath.

“You understand that we’re still in the diagnosis stage, right?”

“Got it.”

“I’m going to put some of these items on your chakra points,” he says. “Some of the plants might sting and the glass vessels might be a little cold.”

“I’ve been through worse.”

“Goddamn right,” says Carlos.

I look at him.

“You’re not making me at all self-conscious.”

“Sorry. He’s the doctor. Also, I guess I thought you were exaggerating when you said you were part dead.”

“I wish I was.”

Ray begins laying out his magic tchotchkes. He starts at the top of my head, then moves to my forehead, my throat, and works his way all the way down to my groin.

I try to look at him without turning my head.

“What happens now?”

“We wait,” he says.

“For?”

“The diagnosis. Try to lie still. Breathe gently in through your nose and out through your mouth.”

I do it, feeling slightly silly lying naked in my bartender’s home, covered in flowers, nettles, and weird chemical brews. If this was college, I’d swear the whole thing was a hazing ritual. Only it’s not, I remind myself. You’re dying, so lie still and suck it up.

I’m there for about five minutes. Every minute or so, Ray takes one of the items off a chakra and replaces it with something else. He was right. A few of the items sting. A couple burn slightly. All of the glass is cold and the annoying thing is that it stays cold.

A few more minutes and Ray moves all his diagnosis gear off the table.

“Okay,” he says. “You can get dressed.”

I roll off the table and while I’m pulling my pants on I say, “Did you figure it out? How to put me back together?”

Ray doesn’t say anything. Carlos is with him over at the apothecary table. Both of their backs are to me. I get my boots on and go over.

“What’s the verdict, doc?”