Page 105

Alicia gave a sharp gasp that turned into a groan as his hand cupped her backside and slid over the smooth skin there.

He kissed her deeply once more, their tongues tangling as his fingers moved to the back of her thigh, teasing her, the skin hot as she dragged her nails over his scalp.

Seth shuddered at the pleasure of it, pulling back as she sighed heavily.

Their eyes met, and there was an urgency about her that he had not seen before. The moment stretched as she gazed up at him.

“If only you could let go of your past… Your future is waiting for you,” she whispered. “I am ready to give you everything, Seth. I want nothing else. Come to my chambers tonight.”

Seth’s whole body came alive at the prospect of finally joining with her.

He let out a long breath, withdrawing his hand from beneath her skirts and moving back. The dismayed look on her face was horrible to witness, but he could not do as she asked.

Settling back in their seats, they fixed their disheveled clothes. Alicia was breathtaking.

Seth could have lunged across the space once more and taken her.

But I cannot. Not yet.

“Is that what you think will happen, Duchess? That I can simply forget my past and the troubles I have experienced, all because you wish it?”

Alicia’s eyes widened, and she crossed her arms over her chest indignantly. “That is not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean? You would prefer someone who did not carry the world on his shoulders? Someone to match your light?” Seth felt the bitterness of the words at the back of his throat. “Instead, you are stuck with me. I am sorry, Duchess, but you cannot just remove the parts of me that you dislike when it suits you. Marriage doesn’t work that way.”

Alicia’s face hardened at that, and the space between them suddenly felt suffocating as she leveled him with a baleful glare.

“And what would I know of marriage?” she demanded. “It is not as if we have a real partnership. To the church and the world, we are no more man and wife than strangers in the street.”

Seth scoffed, but a dark sensation writhed within him.

“You have not made me yours despite everything you said up until now,” she continued. “And if you cannot stop living in the past, you never will.”

She turned toward the window, the darkness outside bathing her beautiful face in shadow.

“I always believed that your darkness matched my light, that perhaps they complemented each other. I would be willing to lo—to accept everything about you if you would let me.”

Her eyes flicked back to him, steeped in sadness.

“But it is not me who is holding back. It is not me who cannot accept who you are. It never was.”

Seth’s face was expressionless as Alicia waited for him to speak. The carriage rolled to a stop, tilting to the side as the footman jumped down and came to the door, but he did not open it.

Alicia stared at her husband, this man who had undone her from almost the first moment she had met him. A man she wished to understand in every way—to help, to bring into the light.

But already she could see his old mask falling back into place. He had shut down, and despite everything that had happened between them, he still did not trust her enough to allow her to be with him as a wife.

Perhaps he never will.

Tears welled up in her eyes, and she slid across the bench as the door opened and got out of the carriage.

Seth did not follow her.

She ran from the carriage, into the house, ignoring the surprised stares of the assembled servants, and bolted up the stairs.

As she entered her room, she ran to the bed, throwing herself onto the soft covers, their coldness a fresh reminder that she was alone.

After a few minutes, she heard soft footfalls outside her door as Seth came up the stairs. She held her breath, keeping her eyes closed, praying that he would come to her, that he would finally share everything with her.