Page 189 of Hidden Ties

“Then I’ll tell you.” His jaw clenched. “You weren’t the first or last woman I’ve had to use when I needed something accomplished. You want to know what sex means to me? Nothing. You said Twister told you he had sons? Did he also tell you he belonged to a motorcycle club?”

“Yes.”

“I bet he didn’t tell you the part where my mother, who was pregnant with me, and my brothers were taken hostage until he managed to retake control of the club.”

“No, Twister didn’t tell me that.”

Creed gave a sarcastic snort. “I bet he didn’t. It’s not a pretty story to tell. My mother died because they wouldn’t take her to the hospital to give birth to me. The clubwhores took turns feeding and changing me. Other than that, they would put me and my brothers in a back room so they wouldn’t hear me.”

Sage sat back down on the bed, wanting to cover her ears.

“I wouldn’t have made it to my first birthday if it hadn’t been for my brothers. Somehow, they managed to keep me alive until Twister was strong enough to take control of the club. By then, we were used to club life. It was better with Twister as president, but it was still a hard life. Twister didn’t have much, and he refused to sell guns and drugs like most of the clubs do to get by. He worked his ass off to buy a home so that if we wanted a regular bed, we’d have one.

“My oldest brother joined the service. Wraith is now the president of Phantoms. I had no desire to join the service. With Wraith as the president, I was happy where I was. When I graduated, however, Wraith wouldn’t let me stay with the club, and Twister wouldn’t let me live with him. They gave me one choice—college.

“They said they wanted me to live a normal life before deciding if I wanted to live the club life. Club life wasnormalto me. No attachments except to the brothers who would take your back every fucking time your life depended on them. You don’t feel anything for any woman you fuck. Emotions will get you killed in a club like the Phantoms. That was Twister’s downfall—my mother. Twister made a nest outside of the club, and it was torn away from him.

“You thinkI flipped a fucking cointo choose between you and Livvy?” Creed bark of laughter was harsh. “I didn’t need to toss a coin to figure that out. You think I just decided to get married, and you were the chosen one? Be real. I’ve never fucked Livvy. I made her come, let her jerk me off a few times.”

“Shut up! I don’t want to hear what you and Livvy did!” Putting her hands over her ears, she couldn’t bear to hear the intimate details of their relationship.

Creed grasped her wrists and pulled her hands away from her ears. His body leaning over hers made her rear back until the mattress prevented her from moving any further away.

“I didn’t have any trouble walking away from her, either. I sure as fuck don’t miss having to brush my teeth numerous times so I can get the taste of her out of my mouth. When I started seeing you, I expected you to be the same as any other woman. I wanted you when I saw you in Matthias’ kitchen. I told myself all along I would be able to walk away from you … I didn’t expect you to walk away first. You want to hear a real shocker? I found out what that pain felt like. Let me tell you something else. I canfuckingtake pain that can put another mandown.”

Creed’s piqued pride had her gaping at his loss of control. He was practically yelling at her, and he rarely ever raised his voice from his monotone level.

She watched, stunned, as he took a deep breath, and the angry glitter in his eyes returned to normal.

“With you, it was different. You swept the ground out from under me, and I’ve been digging myself out ever since.

“I love you, and I’ve never said that to any woman in my entire life. That’s the God’s honest truth. All I’m asking from you—if somewhere deep inside of you … if there is even a tiny part of you still in love with me—is to give our marriage a chance.”

She’d never expected Creed to tell her he loved her. She had no idea the Twister she had known had led such a chaotic life or been so deeply involved in the motorcycle club.

His sons. Finding out how hard their childhood must have been hurt her deeply. She’d been able to be there for Colby and Tinsley during Glory’s illness. No one had been there for Twister’s sons. They had been on their own, at the mercy of others with no familial ties to the three boys. She could only guess the terrible things the young boys had witnessed. It could have been horrific what they had been exposed to. Held hostage, their mother having to give birth without a medical professional, no one to hold them, give them a mother’s touch. She had a terrible feeling those were the least horrible things they had endured.

Fathers and mothers were the ones who taught their kids values, right from wrong, who were an example on how to have normal, healthy relationships. Creed and his brother hadn’t had those. They’d had outlaws.

Her hands came up hesitantly to touch his face, as if they belonged to another person. There was no doubt in her mind the man staring down at her was the real Creed. This man held a hint of cruelty plainly visible in the small lines next to his piercing eyes. Eyes that told her they’d experienced brutality and had survived. There were also secrets hidden in their depths of the ruthless man the club had created. The firm set of his lips gave her the biggest hint about his nature—a pitiless hardness of spirit of the man within who would rather die than break.

Her fingertips moved over the hard angles of his face with a softness meant to warm the man who had been left out in the cold for too long.

“Don’t you fucking feel sorry for me!” he snarled.

Tears gathered in the corners of her eyes. “I can feel sad for what you had to go through without feeling pity for you. I feelsad for what Glory has had to go through, but I don’t feel pity for her. You carry your scars on the inside; Glory carries hers on the outside. Both of you have been hurt and have survived. How could I feel pity for something I admire?”

Creed’s hard expression didn’t ease. “Glory wasn’t the one who hurt you. I did.”

His forearms went to the mattress beside her to take his weight, his chest settling over hers as his mouth tentatively met hers, waiting for her reaction. One of her hands slide to the back of his head to bring his lips harder down on hers.

Tenderly, she kissed him, unable to hold back the love she felt for him. Yes, Creed had hurt her deeply. Yet real love, not made up in a fairy tale, wasn’t easy to be extinguished because it had been stomped on. Embers would remain underneath the surface until the final moment when there was nothing left. And there was one ember left burning inside of her for Creed. She could either let him tend the fire and bring it back to life or extinguish it completely.

Earlier today, she didn’t want to give him that chance. Looking inside of herself now, however, she didn’t want to keep Creed outside while he tried repeatedly to get back in. She loved him too much not to give him that chance.

Creed lifted his mouth to kiss her cheek, his arms moving to circle her head, his body sinking down to meld with hers. “I’m so sorry. Please, forgive me. I swear I’ll never hurt you that way again.”

She might be willing to give him a chance, but she wasn’t going to be a pushover, either. He had to know how badly she’d been hurt—and still was—by his actions. He might have a high tolerance for pain, but she didn’t.