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“Thanks.” She sat, then decided the hell with that. She piled up pillows, lay back against them.
He sat, work pants low on his hips and still unbuttoned.
“I saw you before.”
“Hmm.”
“Back late November, early December, walking with Mop.”
“Oh. Right.” She remembered seeing him and Theo, thinking them tourists. “And thought poor, pathetic woman. Felt sorry for her.”
“No, actually.” He raked his fingers back through his hair, which did nothing to tame it. “I thought you looked tired, shaky, and like every step brought you pain. But you just kept walking. I admired you for that.”
Her gaze shifted to his.
“I didn’t know who you were then, or what had happened to you. I admire you more now that I do. Coming back from that takes guts.”
“What choice was there? Come back, and it felt like an inch at a time, or give up?”
“That’s a choice.”
She let out a sigh, finished the water, then set the glass aside. “I nearly made the other one. At least I think I did.”
“Think?” Though he enjoyed looking at that excellent body, he tossed the throw at the foot of the bed over her, then propped himself up beside her.
“I don’t know why I’m telling you. Why not? Maybe it was a dream, but… No, it wasn’t. I died on the table in the OR, just a few minutes, but…”
“I know. Theo told me.”
“How did he—”
“Drea.”
“Drea.” She shut her eyes. “I didn’t think they knew that. I never told them about it.”
“If we’re playing that game, she told Theo the doctor told her and your parents. And the guy who was with you when you got shot.”
“Of course he did. Of course. I just shut that out, and they’ve never pushed. Well, I’ll deal with that later. When it happened, when my heart stopped, I saw myself. I looked down at myself.”
“Seriously?” Rather than the doubt, even amusement she’d expected, he looked interested. “Like a near-death thing?”
“Not near. I was. And I felt so calm, so quiet, weightless, and well,free.Look how hard they’re working, and I’m fine up here. Or wherever I was. I didn’t feel panicked, but—have to use the word—peaceful.”
She could bring it back, see it all again.
“I’m just sort of floating, and I saw Joel. He’d have been out in the corridor. He was talking to his wife, telling her I was in surgery. And he told her I wouldn’t give up. I’d fight. I was tough, I was strong. I wasn’t finished yet and I wouldn’t give up. My blood was on his uniform. He was crying.
“I thought, well, I guess I can’t just go. And I didn’t. I don’t remember anything else, not clearly, until I woke up a few days later.”
She shrugged. “I’d say most people don’t believe in that sort of thing.”
“Sounds real enough to me.”
She tilted her head toward his. “Does it?”
“Why not? Maybe it’s just a consciousness thing. Heart stops, but that part’s still working. So you see, feel, hear, or get impressions. Somebody who matters to you is telling you not to give up, and you don’t. Add a medical team zapping you back.”
“I can still see it. It’s like… Wait!” She shot straight up. “Wait! Zapping me back. Wait.”