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"Uh-huh. We will," Jean said.

"Get dressed and look very neat," Daddy said. They turned and scurried back into the house.

Mommy and Daddy gazed at each other and then at the statue before the three of us broke into laughter.

It seemed to break the ice that had formed around me. I wasn't as afraid of what was to come.

But maybe I should have been. Maybe it was better to always be a little frightened of the future, so you would be careful. Maybe that was why Mommy believed so strongly in good and bad gris-gris and crossed herself three times if we ever came upon a funeral.

Somehow I knew I would know for sure sooner than I ever dreamed.

2

Just Think

Happy Thoughts

.

Before I left for school to get ready for the

graduation ceremony, Mommy came up to my room and helped me choose the dress I would wear at my party. We styled my hair and she talked a little about her school life in the bayou and her own graduation ceremony. Mommy and Gisselle had attended a private school in Baton Rouge their senior year, but according to Mommy, it was an unpleasant

experience, except for her art class and her getting to know Louis Clairborne, a famous musician who occasionally played recitals in New Orleans and always came to our home for dinner when he was in the city. Whenever he came to our house, he always brought the twins and me something special from one of his European tours. I had dolls and music boxes from France and Holland.

"Well, Mommy," I said after Aubrey came to tell me Claude had arrived to take me to the graduation exercises, "Here I go." I followed that with a tiny whimper.

"Stop worrying," she said and hugged me. As I started out, she cried, "Wait." I turned and saw her sit on the vanity table chair and bend over to untie her good luck dime from her ankle.

"I was going to give this to you before you left for college at the end of the summer, but I want you to have it now, Pearl."

"Oh, no, Mommy. That's your good luck. I can't take that."

"Of course you can. I can pass it on to you."

"But then you won't have it," I warned.

"It's time for you to have it, Pearl. Please take it," she pleaded. "It will mean a great deal to me."

"I know how you feel about this special dime, Mommy," I said shaking my head but moving forward to take it.

"Sit down and I'll fasten it around your ankle," she told me. I did so. "There," she said, patting my knee. "I know you think it's silly, but whatever magic it has had for me it will have for you, too."

"I don't think it's silly, Mommy, but what about you? You won't be wearing it anymore."

"I've had more magic than anyone deserves. Look at the wonderful family I have and the success I've had in my art. Now I live to see you and the boys enjoy your opportunities."

"Thank you, Mommy."

"But don't tell your father just yet," she warned throwing a glance at the doorway. "He thinks I get too carried away with the old beliefs, and he'll only bawl me out for imposing them on you."

Mommy and I never kept serious secrets from Daddy, but there were a few things we didn't tell him. "We can tell him afterward," she added.

"Okay, Mommy." We hugged again and I was off. Claude was wai

ting outside by his car, pacing impatiently.

"Hi," I called and hurried down the steps. He stepped forward to kiss me. Lately he was shoving his tongue into my mouth every time. This time he not only did that but held me so close for so long that I had to pull free.