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No, he must stop feeling sorry for what had happened in the past. He had to celebrate the now, the future. His new life with Grace, and getting to know Imelda.

But then there was the conversation Mooney had had with him that morning. About the old rumour that he’d had something to do with his father’s death decades ago. Just a rumour, Mooney had said. Bryan smiled to himself. Some problems you just had to deal with yourself. Like he’d dealt with his bastard of a father. That was the truth but he’d denied all knowledge of it to the detective. Some truths were best left in the past.

He patted Tess, who growled a welcome for his touch. ‘Come on, girl. We better get back before we’re missed. I’ve missed too much in life already.’

The wedding reception was held in a local pub, which had a small function room at the rear with tables on a back lawn. The guest list was small and intimate.

After the delicious meal of roast lamb, and baked Alaska for dessert, Lottie saw Imelda and Bryan deep in conversation. She hoped Imelda could forgive her older brother for abandoning his family. For the fate that had befallen their sister, Nadine, known as Gabriel in the convent. But none of it was really his fault. He’d just been a teenager trying to survive in a shit show of a world. They’d all suffered in different ways, at the hands of a country ruled by fear, by church and state. She wondered when the full story of life in those institutions would ever be told. Every month there seemed to be some new horror unfolding.

She held her grandson on her knee; he was sleeping with his head in the curve of her shoulder. Her hair had come loose andshe’d kicked off her sandals in some corner. Her forced smile eventually fell away as she spied Boyd, the traitor, dancing with Grace. Sergio sat with Chloe, his head buried in a book for a change.

Rose was sitting beside her, eyes closed though she wasn’t asleep, her head resting on Lottie’s other shoulder.

‘Let her, Lottie,’ she said, opening her eyes.

‘Let who what?’ Lottie said softly so as not to awaken Louis.

‘Chloe. Let her do what she wants with her life. Don’t stand in her way.’

This awareness from her mother stunned Lottie. Maybe the sea air was good for her after all.

‘I won’t stand in her way,’ she said. ‘I just fear for her.’

‘And what good will that do? Life is too short. We don’t know what fate awaits us. My old brain has let me down and I struggle to remember things sometimes.’ Rose let out a wry laugh. ‘All the time. I find it hard to remember who is alive in my life and who has left it. But I do know this. None of us know what the morrow will bring. None of us can predict what will happen to us or know what lies ahead. So let her be herself.’

Stunned, Lottie shifted on the chair, and Louis groaned, his bare feet swinging against her legs. But it was only a restless movement in his sleep. She shushed him and caressed his hair. She adored having him in her life. She cherished all her family. Her eyes wandered and lingered on Boyd.

‘What about me and Boyd, Mother? What will I do without him?’

‘Who are you talking about?’ Rose had lapsed once more, but Lottie wanted to talk.

‘I loved him. I do love him. But we’re a mess. I keep fucking it up.’

‘Language, missy.’

That made her smile. A sad smile. She felt a little piece of her heart had been chipped away. She wasn’t sure if it was because she was losing her mother, or because she had lost Boyd. Mary Elizabeth had once loved and lost her man, before losing her baby to another family and then her life at the hands of evil. If she’d known what had lain ahead of her, would she have done things differently? And Bryan’s younger sister, poor little Gabriel, whose real name she’d learned was Nadine. A name that meant hope. An innocent who at seven years old had only wanted to care for her baby sister, Imelda, and be with her family. Instead, she had suffered unimaginable torture and death.

This brought tears to Lottie’s eyes, and she wondered why this case above any in her recent memory made her so emotional. Was it because she was out on the periphery of the investigation? Was it because she could be more human when not caught up in following a killer’s trail? Perhaps.

She was tired. Tired of fighting. Tired of struggling. But she could not allow Boyd to diminish the one thing that had kept her sane through all the heartache of losing Adam. Her work.

At the same time, she had to admit that Boyd was right. Of course he was. She had immersed herself in the job. Without it, she did not know who she was. Now her family was growing up; even her youngest, Sean, was managing just fine on holidays in Lanzarote with his friends. But her husband was dead and her mother was suffering from dementia, and Lottie didn’t know how much longer she would have with her.

She’d seen how important family was to Imelda Conroy. How far she’d been willing to go to uncover the truth and how much her fight had cost her, and others. She wondered if she could muster that fight within herself. To save what she’d once had with Boyd.

She looked out across the dance floor and caught his eye over his sister’s shoulder. The dip of his head, in acknowledgement perhaps, and his sad smile.

Maybe there was hope for them. But she knew today was not that day.

Like her mother had said, no one knew what lay on the path ahead. And she allowed that to comfort her as she held her sleeping grandson tighter and kissed his soft hair, her heart brimming with love for him.

She wished she could live in that moment for ever.

Safe and unconditionally loved.

With her family.

After all, family was everything.

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