Page 62 of Hell-Bound

And she vanished.

I knew it would happen again. If I touched her.

She was alone in the tavern bedroom, trying to drown her racing thoughts in a bottle of mysterious liquid. She was self-destructing—from pleasure and from pain. The irony of the amalgamation was not lost on her. That was what he was—the ultimate pleasure and the ultimate pain.

Her heart felt like it would be ripped out of her chest. She was coming down off the blissful high that his lips had given her. That temporary reprieve from the growing certainty in her mind that she was not a good person. No matter what decisions she made from now on, she could never erase the agony she had caused, even if she was still not certain of the magnitude of her sins. It didn’t matter. Unseelie were living creatures. Like her, like Benji, like Jester. They had family and friends.

Family and friends like Renata had.

Ren turned over on her bed, it was still night, and she realized how exhausted she was. She stared out at the starless sky and wished for a simpler time—stealing coins with Benji on the ship. Another pang of guilt.

It was so blatant now. She simply couldn’t run from her sin. Her greed, her lust, her wrath—the evidence was always there. She’d hardly questioned Benji when he told her to take from the other passengers. If she were honest, the pilfering gifted her a small thrill. A stroke of excitement.

She squeezed her eyes closed and willed herself to focus on the meager goodness of her life. Benji’s smile as he listened to her play, Jester’s taunting and ceaseless stories. It wasn’t much, but it sustained her, if just for a moment. Then, inevitably, his face came. King of The Hells. Stony and penetrating.

She recalled how his angular face glowed like coals when he unleashed his wrath. How unbridled it was—ripping, tearing, and mauling, all in an effort to save her. To protect her. No matter the motives, his selfish desire to retrieve his prize, he was still the first person to fight for her. Make her feel safe. Irony again—feeling safe in his monstrous arms. And as his hands explored her body, she felt entirely protected. Nothing in the cosmos, The Planes known and unknown, would dare hurt her there. No more swords could pierce through this being’s protective embrace. No emotion could pierce through. And though she knew it was entirely one-sided, she would linger on these feelings. Take comfort in the, perhaps, misplaced relief before, finally, sleep.

???

She woke up with a start. Someone was knocking at her door.

“Miss! Another message for ye!” Fred’s voice said.

Groaning, she turned towards the door.

“Coming.”

Meeting with The Gilded Triangle was not something she was looking forward to after making out with the most powerful sinner alive. The guilt rippled through her.

She rolled lazily off the bed and dressed, braiding her long, silvery hair to disguise its knots. It had been a while since she’d bathed.

Tromping down the stairs, she saw the small glass tumbler waiting for her, but no Fred. She picked up the glass and swirled the viscous red liquid inside, watching as it coated the sides and slid down thickly.

She pinched her nose and drank, chills forming on her skin at the offensive metallic taste.

With a swirl, Leo appeared, dust wafting up from the floor. His hands were clasped in front of his robes with aconcerned look on his face.

Ren felt absurdly awkward as if she were being admonished for her sins by a parent. Not knowing what to do with her hands, she decided the best course of action was to follow his lead and cross them in front of her, standing at attention. More discomfort. The stance, reminiscent of something from her past.

She didn’t like it.

“Renata. It is good to see you,” his words hurried, “did your intel bear fruit? Are you closer to locating Vutar’ka Zhartun? Nainaur has become increasingly impatient.”

Taking a page from Azur’s book, Ren kept her face impassive.

“I’m sure you realize that this will take time, Leo. This is an entire plane of existence with many locations to search. But I believe I’m getting close.”

Liar,her inner voice quipped.

Leo nodded.

“Yes, of course.” He looked down at his hands. “Renata, this is a bit unorthodox, even for me, but Nainaur would like to speak with you. Alone.”

Ren’s eyes widened. An all-knowing god wanted to talk toher.

I’m completely fucked. He knows.

Kisses from The King of Devils suddenly no longer seemed safe. Could The Almighty punish her for such a transgression?