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It was her.

I grew so tired of being weak, dependent on medication that didn’t do anything but deteriorate every part of me. What I needed was to save my own damn self. With Alek’s reassurance throughout the week, it had been enough to keepherat bay. But I wasn’t sure it was enough strength to carry me tonight. Or ever.

Alek tuck the loose strands behind my ear. “It seems we’re both lost in thought.”

Fuck. Every time his gaze softened, I couldn’t even think about lying. I couldn’t bear to do so with him. “Let’s save this for another time.” Although my arms loosened around his neck, he didn’t let go. Instead, he guided us to the piano bench, where he rested me next to him.

“I must share something with you, Katerina. It deals with Kaleb’s intended scheme—”

“Tomorrow,” I interjected, wanting to hold onto this moment for as long as I could. Before it turned to shit. “Just. . . later. Please.”

It was a promise, not entirely empty, but definitely partial. I don’t know if Lorenzo’s backstabbing could benefit me. But in the case they stripped my title, I’ll fight to be with Alek. It was the only thing I had in my life that I chose. The hope tensed my muscles, and I focused my steady gaze on him.

For him, I’d win any fight.

“What if it can’t wait?” he asked, his voice turning brittle.

“It can,” I said. Was it to reassure him or me? I wasn’t entirely sure. “Unless someone’s dying, I don’t want to hear it.” Before he could protest, I kissed his cheek, a flush steeping his skin as a response.

His nostrils flared as he sighed. “If you insist.”

A knock caught our attention, and Tristan entered, his hands rummaging through his tie and loosening it. For now, Tristan still wore his guardian uniform until his part of the plan was completed. Me? I wore it as my armor for when I confronted Lorenzo. Maybe I could have gotten this over with last night after Alek broke the news. But it was impossible since I knew Lorenzo’s hatred for vampires.

“Why?” I had asked him once when we were roomed together at the CEG.

“I can’t say,” he’d said, his voice almost bitter. “But it’s deeply rooted. Almost like it was instilled by someone.”

The disgust oozed in his tone whenever he spoke about them. It was the same disgust he harbored for me now.

“The limousine is waiting in the driveway. Are you ready?” Tristan asked.

Alek and I stood, his hand finding mine and giving me a quick squeeze. “I’m afraid I have no choice.”

“Neither do we.” Tristan chuckled, his cheeks crinkling against his sunglasses. “I will meet with you in the passageway after I send them off.”

I held a sigh in my chest as I nodded. “Got it.”

Alek lowered his head, resting his forehead against mine. His skin was ice while mine was fire, but somehow, they balanced each other out. “If you’re unable to retrieve the notebook, I still expect to see you tonight for our dance,” he murmured, his voice magnetic and pulling our noses closer. “Ms. Hoko will have your dress.”

I swallowed harshly as my throat tightened, forcing me to change the subject. “You’ll have the notebook no matter what.”

That was the least I could do.

We parted away, his cold fingers cupping my face. He rested a short kiss on my lips, sealing a promise I was too scared to make, a lie I couldn’t voice. I didn’t open my eyes until his touch was a ghost of itself, and the car trailed outside on the gravel.

Tristan waited in the underground passageway, the dim light splitting him from the abyss that swallowed the other side. The side I hadn’t stepped into ever since the incident. By now, it was a habit to ignore the trembling that overtook my body whenever I entered the underground passageway. But Tristan’s voice took my mind off it.

“Are you wearing your vest?” He asked, and I nodded. “And the receiver?”

My hands fell on my ears and touched around, realizing I had forgotten it. “I haven’t used it at all.”

“I noticed that. If I was Sonia, I would have written you up for that already. But I’m not,” Tristan smiled and reached into his pocket, pulling out an earpiece. “Make sure it’s on at all times during our split. It’ll be the only way we’ll communicate while you’re sneaking into the quarters, and I’m scouring the grounds.”

With that, we split off. The protocols stayed the same for all the guardians who stayed behind. Lorenzo would be scheduled on his shift soon. If I hurried, I could send Tristan off with the notebook before he could catch my cousin. Thankfully, Sonia reported to the CEG today, which meant I had her office all to myself and no one to see me.

Sonia’s office was the only one on the first floor, near the back entrance. Tristan had mentioned her room being only accessed through her office. He wasn’t sure how. Did she have a hidden door? I took a mental note of that.

Long story short: I was practically killing two birds with one stone.