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“I’m different. I want to accept myself as me for once.”

Ms. Hoko’s eyes trembled with a gloss, and she rested a free hand on my shoulder. “I’ll see what I can do, Miss.”

* * *

Rounds across the grounds. Hospital visitations for feedings. Avoiding Lorenzo. The routine repeated for the next few days like a broken record. It was tiring, but at least I had one thing to look forward to.

“You want me to keep practicing?”

Alek and I met in the mausoleum today since he wanted a break from the swimming lessons at the lake— if they could even be considered lessons. I’d spent hours explaining to him the motions in the water while he sat on the dock, inching farther and farther away from the edge with each minute. By the time our time would be up, he was on the shore and ready to go back inside.

I’d even suggested using the training room to build muscle so he could have some payoff. But he’d denied that.

“Yes.” Alek settled the vase on the mausoleum's podium. This time he had brought zinnia’s, the orange petals vibrant within the darkness. “Christopher and Noah have demanded it to be necessary for the Christmas Ball.”

“Why?” Fighting I was fine with. But dancing? Now that was overboard. “The party isn’t for us, it’s for you guys. We’re just decorations for the theme. Plus, guardians don’t dance.” It wasn’t fair to group all of us. Lorenzo was definitely good. I was not, and Alek didn’t need to know that.

“Tristan surely will,” he said. “It’ll be the first night where he’ll fully enjoy himself.”

“Still, I wouldn’t feel right having fun,” I muttered. “Especially not if I’m forced to dance.”

As an agreement for his consistent swimming lessons, I was supposed to at least learn their traditional dance. He’d compare it to the ballroom waltz. It was nowhere near that.

“Would you prefer to use me as a practice partner then?” He turned to me after he finished fixing the flowers. The sunset radiated through the opening and highlighted his flush. His shyness was easing but still prominent. And his smile? They came out more often. I just wanted to bottle it up just in case they vanished.

“I would take up your offer, but you have to meet with Tristan soon.” He’d tracked down the cab the assailant had used. “I could always request help from the CEG. I have my ways, you know.” If I asked Lace, he’d tell me. He would grow suspicious, sure, but he couldn’t tell me no.

I don’t think I could do the same if he questioned me.

“That won’t be necessary,” Alek replied as we exited and trailed down the pathway within the forest.

His hand met mine as our arms caressed. It was natural to hold hands at this point; I didn’t need him to warn me anymore. But, even when I expected his fingers to interlock with mine, I grew hot. I couldn’t blame it on the weather as the air grew chillier.

Every time we reached the end of our walks, his hold tightened as if he didn’t want to let go. After a few minutes, he did, but kept his eyes on me. He turned toward the second gates as I made my way to the underground hatch. With one last shared smile, we vanished into our own places.

My steps thundered within the ongoing silence of the underground passageway. What made it worse was the ringing that vibrated in my pocket. I didn’t need to look at the screen to know who it was since Lace had a gift for calling at the most unusual times.

Katerina.

I stopped in my tracks. “Lace? Hey—”

Hervoice was like an echo that vibrated along the underground walls, but his voice was louder.

“Nina! I’m so. . .last time was. . .” His words were choppy, and while I tried to focus on him,shepestered.

You thought you could escape me.

I continued through a familiar route, concentrating on my turns and Lace’s voice.

“. . .My brother. . .this. . .weapon. . .Father is. . .to hand down the. . .”

“Lace, I-I can’t hear you—”

His voice vanished, and the call dropped, a sweet coppery smell dragging me away.

But that’ll never happen.

No.