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What if they see right through me?
Grow some balls.
That last thought is what gets me moving. Fuck balls. They’re weak and fragile. I’m putting my vagina to work because she’s indestructible. Well, to a point, I guess, but still.
Before I can talk myself out of it, I take a deep breath and nod to myself in lieu of a pep talk. But first, I have to pee or else the subway ride is going to suck.
Down the hall, I make eye contact with Orion, who doesn’t speak to me but gives me a boyish smile as he walks back into his office. Weird. He’s usually holed up with the marketing team. In fact, I only ever see Hayes on this floor. And by “see” I mean spot in a furtive way. Some people love numbers more than humans. Who am I to judge?
Just as I reach the door to the bathroom, the hairs on my arms stand straight up and my belly constricts like my entire body is preparing for a boxing match.
“Did you have a nice day?” I don’t move when the deep tone of Hadley’s voice caresses the shell of my ear as I inhale the minty freshness of his Tic Tac addiction.
“Yes, Sir.” I’m pretty sure I’m doing it on purpose at this point and the hard cock that presses against my back is the exact reason why.
“See, no need for pesky flowers, is there?” There’s a sudden edge to his voice, all kidding has left the building. “Tell your boyfriend this is a place of business, not his whorehouse.”
I’m about to rear back, his comment feeling like a direct affront, but I’m stopped by his hand around my throat with his fingers pressing on my pulse points just enough to make me freeze.
“You got something you wanna say, Little Rabbit?” A quick shake of my head is my only answer. Mostly because I don’t think telling him I’ve never been this wet before is appropriate in the workplace. That said, my fucking boss is manhandling mein view of anyone who should pass by, but hey, I guess this is my reality now. The worst part is that I love it, which always makes me feel guilty. Mickey may insist that being with them is a necessity but it still feels wrong. It’s impossible to miss that Hadley loves the chase, and the minute I tell him I like being his prey, his interest will die a forgettable death, which will only enrage Mickey.
“Now, go take a piss and think about me while you wipe your cunt. I smell your need for me from here.” He’s gone so fast, the cool air at my back is immediate. Fuck, how does he do that? How does he get me so worked up, yes. But also, how the fuck does he just disappear without a sound?
It’s creepy. It’s also hot as fuck.
I go in, locking the door even though the thought of leaving it open for Hadley is more than just appealing. I imagine him walking in, taking up all the space while I’m sitting on the toilet and trying to get my business done. In my fantasy, he doesn’t let me wipe, he reaches down and pushes two fingers inside me, fucking me hard and leaving gentle kisses on my neck. All the while, his other hand is holding me in place by my throat, pressing hard as my blood rushes to my head. Or to my clit. Or whatever the fuck happens when you simultaneously start to orgasm all the while on the verge of fainting.
Holy shit, why am I so fucking turned on right now?
The next thing I know, I’m coming on my own fingers and Hadley, who was never here in the first place, poofs away from my mind while I try really fucking hard to catch my breath.
My entire face and neck heat like I’m standing too close to a fire at the thought that someone, he or they, could have heard me getting myself off. Shit, I can admit to myself that it was hot.
After wiping myself off, for real this time, I wash my hands three times as I look at myself in the mirror. I know I’m prettyenough by society’s standards but I’m a little fucked in the head and that’s never attractive to anyone, is it?
The only person who has ever accepted me as I am, is Mickey. Can he be cruel? Sure, that’s just his personality because he isalsofucked in the head, but I accept him just the way he is.
Then I remember how he slapped me and my anger returns. I accept him but I don’t accept that.
Before I leave the bathroom, I pat myself on the cheeks to get the red tint down by at least one tone. Being a redhead with pale skin is like having a warning sign flashing every one of my feelings to the entire world.
When I walk out of the bathroom, I’m relieved to find that no one is in the hallway, no one was listening to me orgasm, and no one has a clue that Hadley was at the forefront of my fantasies. It’s the small wins that matter.
The click clacking of my heels on the pristine floors echoes as I pass by the offices and come to a complete stop when I reach my desk. In the span of just fifteen minutes, if that, someone had the time to come up here and drop a light-green bunny on my desk. Today’s novelty, the rabbit has a huge carrot at its feet and right beside it is a cupcake with white frosting and a decorative carrot on top.
What the actual fuck is going on?
I don’t know why this surprises me anymore. Let’s face it, by now, I should be surprised if Idon’tfind an origami on my desk. It’s just so weird. I mean, I can’t fathom any of my bosses doing this, they don’t seem like the waste-time-making-paper-characters kind of guys. Then again, I didn’t think Hadley would corner me in the hall with a half attempt at choking me.
Fuck, why is that hot?
Bringing the cupcake to my nose, I sniff. Vanilla? Maybe with a hint of fruit or something?
What if one of the guys did bake this? No. Impossible.
Then it hits me. Ginny bakes all the fucking time. At this point, I’m pretty sure she spends her weekends looking up recipes so she can bring us the latest delice she whipped up. Hadley calls me Little Rabbit in front of every fucking body so it’s not a stretch that she made a cupcake with a carrot on top.
Oh! Carrot cake, of course.