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Fiona’s gaze snapped to his, her pupils dilating in what he thought was outrage. “Certainly not! It was the most preposterous thing I’ve ever heard. In fact, I’m not even sure I believe you wanted to marry her. She was rather odious.”
Tobias couldn’t keep himself from laughing. “She is that, but in my defense, I didn’t realize it at the time. I was in want of a wife, and she was enchanting. I thought we suited perfectly.”
Her lips pressed into a straight line that screamed her disagreement. “After meeting her, I can’t imagine that was remotely possible.”
Another laugh escaped him, and because he tried not to let it, the sound was somewhere between a snort and a cough. He had to clear his throat after. “You determined that from a single encounter with her?”
“Easily. I’m surprised you found her tolerable, let alone courted her.”
He winced as he rubbed his hand down the side of his face. “I was eager to wed. My father had decreed it was time, and I didn’t have an objection to doing so. Lady Priscilla, as she was known then, made me feel as if I was the most important person in the world. I was certain we would wed. I was on my way to tell her of my intention to ask her father for her hand when I learned she’d already accepted Bentley’s proposal. It was, I’m now loath to admit, upsetting.”
“Why did she say you kidnapped her?”
“Because I offered to elope with her to Gretna Green. I was certain her father had pressured her to accept Bentley’s proposal. As the son of a duke, he outranked me. I had to know if the decision to choose him was hers, so I arranged to get her alone at a ball.”
“Isn’t that rather scandalous?”
He arched a brow at her and tried not to smile. “This from the woman who disguised herself as a maid and stole into a private club?”
She blushed. “And was the decision hers or her father’s?”
“Her father’s, but she seemed willing to do whatever he wished, like a good, biddable young lady who understands that a marital alliance is perhaps the most important thing she can do.”
Fiona made a face, her nose wrinkling as her mouth twisted. “How perfectly horrid. But isn’t that what you expected me todo?” She spoke softly, but the volley of words managed to pierce straight into his chest.
Wincing, he dipped his head. “Yes. I deeply regret it. I hope you’ll accept my apology. It is, unfortunately, the way of Society—for women and for men. Who I married was of the utmost importance to my father.”
“Was he angry when she chose to marry someone else?”
The old, familiar tension gripped Tobias, but only for a moment. With his father gone, he knew he didn’t have to suffer the man’s dissatisfaction anymore. “He was disappointed. Our relationship never recovered from that.”
“How come?”
Tobias gripped the top of the settee’s back as he recalled that night at whatever ball they’d attended. “When I suggested to Lady Priscilla that we elope, she was extremely titillated by the idea—not because it was a chance to marry the man she loved, but because it would spark notoriety and popularity. I saw my mistake in thinking she would be a good wife, and I encouraged her to wed Bentley.”
“You changed your mind?”
“Yes. She then told everyone that I attempted to kidnap her.” He made a sound of disgust low in his throat. “Most didn’t believe her, thankfully, but it was dodgy there for a while. I was given the cut direct on several occasions, and my father was furious with me. I was labeled a rogue, a scoundrel, and a rake—the worst sort of reprobate. I grew frustrated with everyone’s judgment, especially since I’d ultimately done the right thing. I decided to become what they accused me of.”
She was quiet a long moment. “I can’t imagine your father approved.”
“Not at all. He was livid. We didn’t speak for some time.” He looked toward the portrait of his father that hung on the wall to the left of the desk. In it, the former earl stood with hispony when he was about seven or eight years old. The portrait was his father’s favorite because of his love for the animal. Tobias had always hoped his father would speak to him with the same tender fondness with which he recalled his horse, but he never had. Now, Tobias wondered why he hadn’t removed the painting. Perhaps Tobias was still hoping, even now, to find some glimpse of affection from the man.
“When I learned he was ill, that he was dying, I thought we would repair things, but he wasn’t interested in such sentiment.” Instead, he’d focused on what Tobias needed to do when he was gone—take care of his ward and marry as soon as possible or suffer the consequences.
“I’m so sorry,” Fiona said softly.
“He found my behavior abhorrent, and I must admit I did my damnedest to ensure he felt that way. His disapproval was the best approval I could earn.” He shook his head. “Looking back, that was not a terribly wise choice considering that I would need to marry at some point.”
“I did not help matters with my behavior.” She grazed her fingertips against his leg, sending a flash of heat through him. From the moment he’d glimpsed her in the doorway, his body had thrummed with a steady, insistent longing. Her touch amplified the sensation so that need pulsed through him, sending blood rushing to his cock.
He shifted in an attempt to get his coat to mask his desire, but it was fairly hopeless. Perhaps she wouldn’t notice.
“Please don’t continue to fret about what happened,” he said thickly. “My reputation was well known before you dressed up as a maid.”
“Still, you were on the way to improving things, and I ruined that.”
He stared at the pale column of her throat where her pulse beat strong and sure, and perhaps a bit quickly. “Did you?”