Page 44

“I guess I was trying to keep you from that.”
“But Ryan was going to be my teammate, didn’t you think I was going to find out sooner or later?”
He sighs. “I did think of that. Ryan said he wouldn’t tell you until I was ready, even though he thought it was a terrible idea. Sometimes you kids are a lot smarter than adults. I don’t know.”
“Stop saying ‘I don’t know’, Dad.”
His gaze cuts to mine. I can see that he wants to argue with me about giving him attitude, but he doesn’t. “You’re right. It was wrong. I was wrong. I’m sorry. As for yesterday, I had no idea your mom was coming. I was blindsided, and I fell into an old pattern—briefly. Very briefly. And not that this part is any of your business, but I did tell Leslie, and I had a conversation with Ryan about it.”
“If you didn’t want it to be anyone’s business, you shouldn’t have done it in public.”
His fingers tighten around the steering wheel. My father and I never fight. Sloan was right about one thing. I’ve always been a daddy’s girl, until he moved in with Leslie and Ryan anyway. “Fair enough,” he says.
“Here’s the thing, Dad,” I say, taking a deep breath to gather my thoughts before I spew them all over him. “I know you’re moving on from your life, but that doesn’t mean you should leave me out of it. Fine, be with Leslie, but you didn’t have to keep it from me.”
“I know,” he says, shaking his head.
“I don’t think you do know, Dad because I haven’t told you. You want to know what it feels like? It feels like Ryan is your child right now, not me. You ran after Ryan to smooth things over with him. Ryan knew about your new life, and you ask him about the bullying being done to me. If you want to know something about me, ask me.”
“Pumpkin,” my dad says, reaching for me. “You’re my daughter, you always will be.”
“It hasn’t felt like it.”
His touch on my hand burns. He pats it a few times, then pulls away again. “I’m sorry. I know I haven’t seen you as much. I’ve seen Ryan more, but I guess that’s what happens when you live with someone.”
“I just don’t want you to forget about me, Dad.”
His throat works. “I could never do that.”
Like Hayes says, sometimes words are empty unless they’re backed by action.
“I’ll do better,” he says. “I promise. I’ve been trying since we talked the other day.” He smiles. “Your mom and I waited so long for you, baby girl. I could never forget you.”
I wait for my emotions to swell up, but it never comes. He and Mom used to tell me about how long they waited for me when I was a kid, and it always made me feel special, but right now, I just feel…cautious. There’s no other way to explain it.
We’re silent for a few more minutes until Dad says, “Now let’s talk basketball for a second. Your mom still wants you to go to Springs.”
“No.”
“I’ve told her I don’t like the idea either because you really want to stay at RHS, but you’ve got to work with me here, Tessa. Talk to me about what happened last year. About the girls in the stands and the guys freezing you out after you got the start.”
I shrug. “I don’t really know the reasons why, Dad, but I do know Lake O’Brien hates me, and I’m pretty sure he was the reason those girls all hated me, too.” I leave out the part where some of them were jealous because of Sloan and Alec, and the fact that the Ballers claimed me.
“Do you want me to do something about it?”
“Honestly? Last time when you stepped in to get the scout, you just made it worse.”
His jaw ticks. “Your mom’s not going to let you go there if the same thing happens again, Tess. She’ll pull you from the school.”
“I can handle it,” I tell him. “I handled it last year.”
“If you don’t play, Tess…”
“I know,” I growl out. If I don’t play, how are any of the colleges supposed to know if I’m good or not. “I’ll handle it.”
He shifts back in his seat. “I’m not promising I’ll stay out of it this time, Pumpkin. I get that you need to do things on your own. I know people automatically think that I just give you things. I can read it all over their faces until they actually see you play, but I will step in next year if things go too far. I made the mistake of turning a blind eye before, and I won’t do it again.”
I shake my head. “Dad, you’ll just…”