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“Good.”
I shake my head. “Not good. I didn’t even know you liked me like that.”
“Ilikeyou like that, Tessa. We all do.”
“Don’t speak for them,” I say through clenched teeth. “Just don’t.” If they all still like me and let Lake do that to me, I don’t even know what to do with that.
“Fine.Ilike you.”
“But tomorrow if Lake asks you not to, you won’t.”
He shakes his head. “Not again.”
“I don’t believe you,” I say wistfully. I really wish I could believe in someone right now.
He swallows. “I know you don’t. It’s my fault.”
I run my hands down my face and look over at him. God, his eyes. They’re like stars in the night that beg to be looked at. Already, I feel ten times the emotion I’ve ever felt around Chase even though I know rationally that Chase is the better option. Fucking Chase Fisher doesn’t do it for me though.
Fucking Hayes. What am I supposed to do with this?
As if he can tell what I’m still thinking, he says, “Don’t push me out.”
“Don’t give me a reason to.”
“Never again,” he pauses between the words, imbedding the promise into me. I just hope I can believe him.
Emotion crawls up my throat. The air in here feels so heavy with unsaid words and thoughts and feelings. It’s like my skin is stretched so tight trying to keep everything in. He won’t look away from me now. I lift my hand and move it toward his face. His cheekbones are so defined, almost elegant. I brush my fingertips across them. He closes his eyes, staying as still as a statue even though he’s so wound up he looks as if he could snap at any moment. I don’t want to know what that would look like.
I retreat, pulling my hand back and just stare at him some more. After a while, I say, “I think I should go to bed now.”
He nods. “I’ll leave you alone.”
I nod back in answer. Words are failing me now, too. Then again, I’m not the best with words either. I’m better than Hayes, but only marginally. If I was better, I’d have told all of these guys to get the fuck out of my life a long time ago and meant it.
He stands. He’s so tall he almost brushes the low ceiling. His hair definitely tangles in the rope leading from the single ceiling fan in the room, but he just moves it out of his way as he backs up, still facing me. When he gets one hand on the door, he asks, “Are you still going to play that game with Chase tomorrow?”
I guess Chase and I weren’t fooling anybody. Hayes knew it was bullshit. “Maybe.”
His lips thin. “He knows you don’t like him like that.”
I can’t tell if he’s asking me a question or if he’s trying to reaffirm it to himself, but I just nod anyway.
“He’s playing a dangerous game,” Hayes muses.
Don’t I know it.My jaw tightens. “Don’t do anything to him.”
He hides his face, looking down at the doorknob as he twists it in his hand. “Good night, Tessa.”
“Good night,” I choke out.
It isn’t until after he’s left that I realize he never said he wouldn’t do anything to Chase. The rest of my mind doesn’t want to dwell on that though. It wants to replay everything that just happened over and over and over again as I drift into sleep.
Hayes “Ice Man” Irving likes me.
8
The next morning at breakfast, I sit with Chase and his lacrosse teammates. I guess I really am going to push this game with him. Serves the Ballers right. Also, it’s because the lacrosse players are the least threatening option right now. Hayes is still sitting with the rest of the Ballers even though he’s as far away from Lake as he can get. But truly, they’re friends. Best friends. They’ve all proven before that they would choose him over me. What makes me think they—or even Hayes, specifically—won’t do it again?