Page 38

Another yacht.It’s all I can do not to roll my eyes.

“It might be good for you to get some sunshine,” my father continues, and his tone makes it clear that I’m expected to say yes. To get to know Vito, consider his proposal. Do my duty.

“Of course,” I manage, hating how small my voice sounds. How I’m capitulating so easily…and at the same time, hating that I don’t want to. That I resent everything I’m being asked to do in the wake of Luis’ death.

Vito smiles broadly. “Excellent. I’ll have my assistant arrange it all, and my security will discuss protection measures with your team.”

The conversation fades out around me again, and I look across the room, seeing Sebastian leaning against a wall. His bearing looks casual, but his gaze is hawk-like as always, missing nothing. He looks in my direction, and I feel my breath catch in my throat.

I can’t do this. I can’t.

“Excuse me,” I blurt out suddenly, moving away from Vito and my father. “I just need to get some air. It’s hot in here—I’ll be back.”

I walk quickly away from them, out toward the doors that lead to the garden, before Vito can say something about accompanying me. I hear my father’s muttered apology behind me, and I know I’ve embarrassed him, but I can’t bring myself to care just now. After all, he doesn’t care about how I feel about any of this. Not in the slightest.

I need to escape, just for a few minutes. I need space, to breathe, to get away from the expectations suffocating me. It’s all too much.

Slipping out into the warm darkness of the gardens, I breathe in the scent of the flowers—roses and lavender and night-blooming jasmine. My heels click against the stones as I walk down the path, and I feel my eyes burn with unshed tears, my chest aching as I slip deeper into the recesses of the garden. The sounds of the party fade, and the pressure in my chest eases the slightest bit as I lean against a fountain on the outer edge of the garden maze, listening to the splash of the water.

“I don’t know what to do,” I whisper aloud to nothing—or maybe to Luis, wherever he is. My brother would have listened, even if he couldn’t have helped.

I hadn’t realized just how much freedom I’d been allowed until it evaporated. Until I was suddenly hemmed in by expectations that weren’t there before. And I feel guilty for resenting it, because things are only like this because Luis is dead.

It feels like resenting him, and Idon’t. I really don’t.

I sink onto the edge of the fountain, uncaring if the water splashes on my dress, burying my face in my hands. “What options do I have?” I whisper. There are no good ones that I can see. I can marry a man I barely know and don’t love, chain myself to him for a lifetime, or I can refuse and lose everything.

Money, home, family…Sebastian. I have no reason to think that he’d follow me into exile if I chose that. He won’t even say out loud what it is that he feels for me.

My head snaps up at the sound of footsteps, my hands dropping into my lap. Sebastian emerges from the shadows a moment later, and an irrational irritation grips me as I see him.

“Are you following me?” I snap, and his mouth twitches slightly.

“It’s my job to keep you safe, princess.”

“From flowers?” I look away, my fingers curling into the skirt of my dress. “I’m fine, Sebastian.”

He steps closer. “Even from flowers, if need be. And you’re not fine, princess.”

I bite my lip, looking away. “Vito wants to take me sailing tomorrow,” I say quietly. I can see Sebastian tense out of the corner of my eye.

“I see,” he murmurs finally. “And you’re going to go?”

“Do I have a choice?” I look at him bitterly. “From where I’m sitting, it doesn’t seem like it.”

“You could tell your father you don’t want him.” Sebastian shifts his weight. “Choose one of the others.”

“I don’t want them, either. Does it matter which snake I allow into my bed?” I clench my teeth, nails scratching at the stone as I grip the edge of the fountain. “One of them is prettier than the other, but it’s going to hurt when they sink their fangs into me all the same.”

Silence hangs between us for a long moment. “You’ll have to go with me tomorrow.” I turn to look at Sebastian. “You’ll have to watch him flirt with me. Eye-fuck me. Try to touch me.” Each word is a barb, designed to hurt. I want him to put a stop to all of this, and he hasn’t. I don’t want to hurt him, and I do, all at once. I’m hurting, and there’s nowhere for it to go but outward.

“Estella.” His voice is calm, but I can hear the pain underneath it. “Don’t do this.”

“Don’t do what?” I fling back at him. “Marry a man I don’t love?”

“Don’t try to push me away.”

“You’re making sure you don’t get close enough that I can.” I press my lips together, feeling my knuckles turn white as I grip the stone harder. “How can you watch all of this?”